What to do with ex girlfriends gear?

[CBRF3RIDER]

Any of you guys (or girls I suppose) ever run into this problem before?

I dont want to go too much into detail but things with the girl I have been with for years and was planning on asking to marry this summer abruptly went downhill last week. I am supposed to have a talk with her tomorrow about things, but its really not looking good. Completely out of the blue and didnt see it coming. Anyways, just wondering if those of you who have purchased gear for a significant other have asked for it back when things went south. And by gear I mean EVERYTHING, I bought her a brand new EXO400, Scorpion Jewel mesh pants, Alpinestar Tech 4S boots, and a Shift jacket. I am thinking I should ask for it all back, but honestly I am not sure.


Meant to post this over in the bar...whoops.

 

[mave2911]

In my opinion, things I have given a past friend or ex, have been given as gifts - and thus, I lose all rights to them.

You hear about people hitting up their ex for engagement rings and the like, but I disagree with that.

As I said, they were given freely as gifts.

Cheers,
Rick

 

[mnuttall87]

Rick, as much as I want to agree with that, I'm looking at this one different. This is motorcycle gear. Unless if the girl plans on using it, she is probably selling it or throwing it away, etc. I think it would be okay to ask for it back (in a nice manner) if things don't end up working out.

On a side note, sorry to hear things didn't work out for you man.

 

[Raptorman53]

Sounds like you have a pretty good chunk of change invested in the gear for her. If it were me I would get it back and then sell it. When you get another girl friend they would probably think wearing another girls gear is weird. If not let her sell it and split the money or something. I don't think you should just give it away.


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[CBRF3RIDER]

In my opinion, things I have given a past friend or ex, have been given as gifts - and thus, I lose all rights to them.

You hear about people hitting up their ex for engagement rings and the like, but I disagree with that.

As I said, they were given freely as gifts.

Cheers,
Rick

I dont want to be a dick about it either so I probably wont say anything. I guess it just seems like motorcycle gear walks the line a little bit. On one hand, it is safety equipment to take part in my hobby (well more than my hobby but thats beside the point) but on the other it was something special that she picked out and I gave to her.

I dont want the ring back that I gave her, that is definitely across the line!

 

[VEGASRIDER]

In my opinion, it's her gear. You could ask her if she has any plans riding in the future, and if not, maybe she will let you have it. But if she wants to keep it, I think she has every right to do so. Plus, the gear might be able to bring back the good memories that you had together.

I would not press the issue.

 

[dxh24]

If it were me in all honesty I'd just let it go, the way I look at it is it's just going to cause me stress to have it around or to go thru selling the stuff. IMO its not worth the stress, but like I said that's just me


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[7UPyours]

get it back and post it in the for sale section, you bought it for her so you guys can ride together, if you're not together than she doesn't needed,what size jacket is it and what size helmet,

 

[mave2911]

Rick, as much as I want to agree with that, I'm looking at this one different. This is motorcycle gear. Unless if the girl plans on using it, she is probably selling it or throwing it away, etc.

In that case, I'd ask her if she's going to use it, and if she said no, then sure - I'd ask if she wouldn't mind my having them.

But, I would make it clear that I believe there was no obligation.

It's like if you buy someone a winning lottery ticket - you've given it away as surely as if you'd chucked it in the bin.

If the lucky recipient was to offer me a gift, in return, I would also make it clear there is no obligation.

Just my feelings on the matter, and yours may differ, but if I bought it, and gave it to someone, that's as good in my book as effectively throwing that money away. (except for the benefit to the recipient)

It's like if you've ever given money or foodstuffs to charity or the homeless - do you expect them to come and cook you tea or wash your car in return?

No, you gave because you could, and it was the right thing to do. (and in this instance, it got the chick on the back of the OP's bike!)

Cheers,
Rick

 

[CBRF3RIDER]

Raptorman- Definitely would sell it. I think that would creep girls out a little bit lol! "You look JUST like my ex girlfriend when your wearing her old gear"

Haha, but seriously I wouldnt want that reminder even if I didnt tell girls it was hers. Girls always want to go on rides though and I havent taken them up on it because I was with someone. Id have to buy some new stuff for that. And mnuttall its ok man guess its just part of life, just gotta pick up the pieces and move on.

EDIT: Having a hard time keeping up thanks for all the replies! I figured this was worth discussing. Im sure some other guys (or girls) going to be asking the same question in the future.

 

[Norbert]

Sometimes it's worth the loss in $$$ to never have to speak to someone again.

 

[lytehouse]

If she asks for something back that she gave you, then maybe bring up the gear to her.
And I hope that things don't go as bad as you think they will....good luck with it all

 

[mave2911]

Sometimes it's worth the loss in $$$ to never have to speak to someone again.

Oh, I've been there!

LOL!

Cheers,
Rick

 

[FinalImpact]

For me it goes like this; you know her and we don't. If she's going ride with or without you and you know this, say nothing but "be safe". If however you feel she has no intent of being on a bike again, I might just ask for it back.

 

[mave2911]

One thing is concerning me though, you say this all went downhill a week ago?

Surely it's a bit premature to be thinking it's the end for all time?

But I'll guarantee you, if you ask for all of your stuff back, it will be....

See where it's at after you speak with her - maybe she just needs some time?

Most of us have been there, when life interjects on our romance and needs to be sorted out?

Maybe?

Just a thought, but I personally would be treading a little more carefully.

Cheers,
Rick

 

[The Toecutter]

yea let it all go,and just get on with your life......

 

[FinalImpact]

^ +5 on that. . . Don't rush the perishables. . .

 

[Kazza]

Any of you guys (or girls I suppose) ever run into this problem before?

I dont want to go too much into detail but things with the girl I have been with for years and was planning on asking to marry this summer abruptly went downhill last week. I am supposed to have a talk with her tomorrow about things, but its really not looking good. Completely out of the blue and didnt see it coming. Anyways, just wondering if those of you who have purchased gear for a significant other have asked for it back when things went south. And by gear I mean EVERYTHING, I bought her a brand new EXO400, Scorpion Jewel mesh pants, Alpinestar Tech 4S boots, and a Shift jacket. I am thinking I should ask for it all back, but honestly I am not sure.


Meant to post this over in the bar...whoops.

OMG, wait until you're officially broken up LOL

Sorry, not making fun of it, but you're thinking about your next GF before you're officially over with this one? Men :shakehead:

Seriously though, myself, I wouldn't like to be wearing a helmet that someone else has used. I'd sell the stuff on Ebay or something similar. If and when you get a new GF, she can buy new stuff for herself.

Also, if she paid for the gear, it's hers. If you paid for it and DIDN'T give it to her as a gift, you've got the right to ask for it back.

 

[Kazza]

In my opinion, things I have given a past friend or ex, have been given as gifts - and thus, I lose all rights to them.

You hear about people hitting up their ex for engagement rings and the like, but I disagree with that.
As I said, they were given freely as gifts.

Cheers,
Rick

Unless they cheated on you. If anyone cheats then ALL BETS ARE OFF. Get the stuff/gear back (even the ring....)

 

[mave2911]

And then every time you think about it, or see it, you'll be p!ssed off.

Better to let it go, methinks, and remember the good times instead of further tarnishing them with the 'end of relationship' argument.

Cheers,
Rick