I't official- I have a warped sense of humour

Batgirl

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I actually laughed out loud at this one:



A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an
expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The Blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the
body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in
the black suit he is already wearing
> >
> > The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked
> > his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives
> > the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what
> > it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for
> > the viewing.'
> >
> > The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she
> > finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a
> > subtle chalk stripe the suit fits him perfectly.
> >
> > She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very
> > satisfied. You did an excellent jo! b and I 'm very grateful. How
> > much did you spend?'
> >
> > To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with
> > the blank check. 'There's no charge,' she says.
> >
> > 'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that
> > exquisite blue suit!' she says.
> >
> > 'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a
> > deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in
> > shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive
> > blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave
> > wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as
> > long as he looked nice.'
> >
> >
> >
> > 'So I just switched the heads.'
 

Batgirl

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Here's another one I thought was kinda funny :Flash:

> > First-year students at Auburn University Vet school were
> > receiving their first anatomy class, with a real dead cow.
> > They all gathered around the surgery table with the body
> > covered with a white sheet.
> >
> > The professor started the class by telling them, 'In
> > Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important
> > qualities as a doctor: The first is that you not be
> > disgusted by anything involving the animal body. For an
> > example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his
> > finger in the butt of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck
> > it in his mouth. 'Go ahead and do the same thing,'
> > he told his students.
> >
> > The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes,
> > but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the anal
> > opening of the dead cow and sucking on it. When everyone
> > finished, the Professor looked at them and said, 'The
> > second most important quality is observation.
> >
> > I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index
> > finger.' Now learn to pay attention.' Life's
> > tough, but it's even tougher if you're stupid.'
 
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