Help! my son won't commit to the Coast Guard

[boo68]

My son is almost 19 and just got laid off from his 'full time' landscape job. He has been working 2 jobs since he graduated HS at the end of May. As of his birthday on 10/11 he has to have health insurance or be sanctioned by the state of Mass. We can only carry him on ours until his 19th birthday. He has already gone and taken the ASVAB and scored pretty high and has passed the MEPS conditions. He got laid off a weekago Monday.. and he is a procrastinator.. a great kid, but with no real drive. He works for his money and wants nice things.. but is not exactly college material at this stage of his life. He is a brilliant kid with no/low self confidence(he never believes the things I tell him about his intellect and ability). So lastnight.. we come home and he has purchased another vehicle on top of his F150, his 78 Bronco, and he is borrowing my sister's car, and now we have this 87 Cougar in the drive. I can't park my truck GRRRR. Well my husband was pretty frustrated, and we all had a come to Jesus meeting. My husband told Christopher, we have been patient, we love you, but you are going to call the recruiter back tomorrow and make an appt to sign a contract. He is afraid of leaving home, this I know. But he could/would likely be stationed in the next town over from us, given that New England is the least desirable location (go figure) for most recruits. The recruiter even told him when he went for his ASVAB that there was a position in Chatham and he could sign up for it. He can have basically any 'profession' that he choses given his score on the ASVAB. HOW DO I CONVINCE HIM THIS IS THE BEST THING FOR HIM??? Any input would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance!

Desperate Mom who wants a great life for her boy

 

[sideshow_downs]

I dont know if you can really talk him into something like this. I to have low self esteem issues and i wasnt really a good college canadate after HS. I can say though that joining the Army was most likely one of the best choices ive made in my life so far. It made me grow up and be a man. I had to learn how to live on my own without parental help and to become a man.

The only thing i can say for you to do is to show him the positive things that joining the service will bring to him and how it will help in the future.

Good luck

 

[wrightme43]

Tell him this.

Imagine your on a Cutter blasting thru the waves. The salt spray is tingling against your face as your ship closes on a fast running drug boat. You are manning the .50 cal you hear the call over the sound powered phones, fire warning shots. You rake a trail of armor piercing bullets right across the path of their bow. The boat turns away. They dont stop. The fire control officer says to stop the boat. You open fire on the engine compartment, flames and debrie fly everywhere as the boat stutters to a stop. You keep the gun trained on the smugglers while they come topside and surrender.

Also this. You know why you have to be 6 feet tall to be in the Coast Guard?



If the boat sinks you can walk back to shore.


Also this.
They party alot!!

They dont have submarines.

 

[boo68]

Thank you! We tried to show him all of the positives. I understand he is afraid of leaving home. We tried to reassure him that his room will be here whenever he comes home. He has (since my post) called the recruiter (at the direction of his dad) and has an appt for the 26th to go sign the contract, he can still change his mind. But I am also afraid he will hate us for pushing him to do it, even though we know it is the best thing for him right now. He is concerned too, that Basic will be too hard for him, I have seen my son work his butt off if he is pushed he will work very hard, otherwise, he will slack off. We see his friends not really having much direction too.. although some have gone off to College already, and I have said, you can consider the Coast Guard your college...we shall see how he does on the 26th.

Thanks again!

Deb

 

[dickieD]

let him know the bonus possibilities.. that they will pay for his education.. awesome benefits and the ability to travel around the world.:rockon:

 

[wrightme43]

I was in the Navy. Boot camp is a joke. He has nothing to worry about as long as he just keeps his mouth shut. If you are right and you know you are right though, RESPECTFULLY ask for a private conversation with your DI. Explain why, and then shut the hell up. Thats the only big thing I remember from boot camp. There is nothing they can do to you that you cant do.
Volunteer for laundry petty officer and the clean up crew that stays after everyone leaves for breakfast.

That cuts about 50% of the marching out, and the laundry P.O. gets to go to the commisary to buy stuff for everyone. They are two low level responsibilties that have high benifits.
You get out of the worst of the stupid, but have some respect from the DIs for doing something most people wont do. It helps. You dont get yelled at for stuff other people do, but you are not lumped in with the other people and get a few extra breaks. Like I never once had to stand night watch, and instead of 10 minutes to eat, I had 20 minutes to eat in the straggle line. Just some helpful advice. Basicly though just keep the mouth shut and its easy.

If he gets laundry P.O. always ask the DIs if they need anything from the commisary when they send you. That means you get a candy bar too if you just again keep the mouth shut. LOL

 

[kustom17]

Wow , you are some pretty nice parents

before I graduated HS my mom and dad were like, hey you have 2 options and a mandatory action

1) join the military
2) go to college

but no matter what you choose, you have to get the F on out of here



so.... I showed them.. i chose college in Hawaii.....

long story short... recieved a good education.. had 5 of the most fun years of my life..... and am now running for Office (was a poli sci major)

but... Almost everyone in my family is Navy (all the way back to great grandparents)

So the military is an excellent option.... we all have to grow up sometime.. his time is now.. he just has to choose how he is going to do it.


Oh one more thing.. he may not want to leave home now.. but once he does and gets a taste of true freedom (fun) he'll be happy he did

 

[oldfast007]

Tell him you and your husband have joined a nudist colony and are going to be having "swingers" parties three times a week at your house, so you'll need his room on rare occassions... he will leave... j/k

Seroiusly though the rewards are greater for him than anything he has been doing so far, plus he's qualified!! Best of luck to you...

 

[wrightme43]

Oh and no matter what no matter what at all!!

Put the 100 a month in a retirement account. Do that for 20 years starting at 18 and retire a millionare. The most important thing is to start early!!!!

 

[pooty]

dickied and wrightme43 have given you the best advice so far. especially on the saving part. tell him he can retire 39 years old and have plenty of money. and if he has studied at all he can do something else then. or have him go dig ditches for a week or so. i was a carpenter for a long time. my body is used up. i mean used up. ask him if he wants to be like a 70 year old at 50? hope evrything works out oh and tell him to keep his mouth shut---lol

 

[MisterX]

Tell him this.

Imagine your on a Cutter blasting thru the waves. The salt spray is tingling against your face as your ship closes on a fast running drug boat. You are manning the .50 cal you hear the call over the sound powered phones, fire warning shots. You rake a trail of armor piercing bullets right across the path of their bow. The boat turns away. They dont stop. The fire control officer says to stop the boat. You open fire on the engine compartment, flames and debrie fly everywhere as the boat stutters to a stop. You keep the gun trained on the smugglers while they come topside and surrender.

Also this. You know why you have to be 6 feet tall to be in the Coast Guard?



If the boat sinks you can walk back to shore.


Also this.
They party alot!!

They dont have submarines.

Heck, with all that you just said, I almost want to join now!



X

 

[jsteinb95]

All you can do is show him the positives (like you have done). You can't force him to take that step!

 

[MarinaFazer]

I used to want to be a Coast Guard diver...I am certified Advanced Instructor for SSI. I found out the Coast Guard wasn't for me. I think it's a very very honorable job to be in and no one will disrespect him. Everyone is scared to move out (I wasn't when I went to college, but that's different). Coast guard, travel the world, meet so many new people...sounds pretty good to me...i just chose the college route...

OR

start community college. Anybody can do it. A good friend of mine did it, and is now in Aerospace Engineering at UC San Diego to get a Masters!!!

 

[CanadianFZ6]

The best thing for him is what he decides.... Let me ask you this... would you like to be forced into do something you don't want to do? Everyone finds their path in life, it just takes time. He will find his way, you did, right?:thumbup:

 

[keira]

FWIW, if he doesn't want to commit to it, then he won't.

However, you are his mom and you love him and want whats best for him, and he may not see that. He may see you pushing him to do something he isn't sure of and rebel against it.

A little story that I hope helps....
When I was a junior in H.S., my parents told me that if I didn't go to college, I was welcome to stay at home as long as I needed, but I would have to pay rent and buy groceries in a rotation (every third trip). Maybe what he needs right now isn't the Coast Guard, per se, but a reality check and responsibility of some sort. When my parents told me about the college or rent thing,t he first thing I thought of was getting a job and a place of my own, just so I would be responsible for myself completely, not when my parents let me.

Fortunately I chose college, and upon college graduation my parents issued me the same ultimatum. I once again chose to be responsible for myself.

They could have just as easily let me do whatever I wanted, live at home as long as I wanted, etc, but they didn't and it was the best thing for me, though I thought it was a bit harsh at the time. I mean, who pays rent to their parents? Might be the kick he needs to realize that he's an adult now and needs to make his own (responsible) decisions.

 

[damnpoor]

All you can do is show him the positives (like you have done). You can't force him to take that step!

I went through basic training with a good ol' boy from Oklahoma who left his girlfriend back home and joined the military because he was desperate for money. He hated it the entire time and I found out later that he applied for palace chase (got out early).

The point is that you don't join the military because you have nothing better to do with your life, you join the military because it's something you want to do.

If he's not the type of person who wants the military lifestyle there's absolutely nothing you can do to change it.

 

[VEGASRIDER]

Coast Guard Rocks. Actually, it takes a special individual to commit to this area of service.

Since 9/11, the Coast Guard has taken on more responsiblities, especially protecting our coast lines and infrastructures like bridges. It's not just about search and rescue anymore.

What this about being 6 feet tall, 1st you have to be a great swimmer!

I had a childhood friend join the Coast Guard, he told me some incredible stories. And yes, he was a great swimmer.

 

[DefyInertia]

It's surprising how much people can accomplish when they have no choice.

Sounds like he's not self-motivated and needs a push. Tell him he (and his cars) have to be out by 01/02/2009, period. Help him come up with a plan, but be clear/firm that he's got to get out and start feeding himself, not spend his money on toys while mooching off the rents.

 

[wrightme43]

the 6ft tall thing is a navy joke about the coast guard.

 

[sportrider]

man this thread is a trip down memory lane, I was in the Navy( I joined on my own accord) Boot camp as Steve said was a joke, I was the repair P.O. amazing how you always had a faucet to fix just as the company was going to get cycled

seriously though I don't think you should "force" him to join, some people just aren't meant for that kind of life. I saw quite a few guys go 5150 while I was in. but I don't think you should give him a free ride either. I agree with Defy, set a deadline and tell him to be out by then. sometimes late bloomers just need a kickstart. :thumbup: