Guilt Ridden and Severely Bummed out

[BKKFZ6]

Last Saturday we had a Christmas Party for my kid, as things go th kids went to bed, the acquaintances departed, and a small group of good friends remained. We were have a great time. swapping stories. We even touched on Motorcycling and how helmets saved people we know. As it came to depart, one guy wanted to try the FZ6, he was not drinking as much as the rest of us. I foolishly agreed, and pulled out the bike and started it up. I ran to get a helmet, and before I knew it, another buddy was on the bike, revving it up. I just thought he was playing and making noise. When I turned back with the helmet in my hand, all I see it the bike shooting out of the drive, the front wheel skyward.

"No!" I screamed. only to be followed by a gut churning crash. My buddy had rocketed right into the next door neighbor's cement wall. And lay unconscious under the bike. We rushed him to the hospital. He had head injuries, mostly a severe concussion and spent the night in ICU. He will be OK, I think. He cannot remember the accident or the day after. He's not quite himself yet, but the doctors say it takes up to 2 weeks to recover.

I feel like such a freaking idiot. All I had to do is give the keys to my wife before we started partying, and it would have been a great night. As it is, I feel like crap. I almost killed my good friend through my bad judgment. I know that I am not totally to blame, but on the other hand I had the power to prevent the whole incident. I was the one with the keys.

The bike seems pretty well totaled, at least the front end. But it means very little to me when I have see my buddy suffering, and his wife's pain in dealing with the situation. I seem to have lost my appetite for the bike. I haven't even sent it in to the shop, it just sits in my garage as a reminder the incident.

I am glad that things should work out OK. But it could have as easily been a mortality. Man... I feel badly!

All I can say to all of you. Is while your sober, check your keys in with someone you know has better sense that you and your mates will have while in a drunken state.

 

[VEGASRIDER]

Thanks for sharing. A lesson learned for all of us, unfortunatley at your expense. Hope your friend makes a speedy recoery.

 

[aussiejules]

+1 not a good story,but as you say not all your fault, heres to a speedy recovery.

 

[Doorag]

WOW. I'll definitely remember to hand over my keys. Thanks for the warning, but sorry it had to come at your friend's expense. Wish him the best from all of us.

 

[steveindenmark]

+1 not a good story,but as you say not all your fault, heres to a speedy recovery.

I am sorry. this is a sad tale but I have to disagree with you BKKFZ6 is just as responsible as his friend and their is no point in pretending he is not.

Just because his friend has been drinking LESS than everyone else, does not mean he should get the keys for the bike. He should not have been given the keys.

That sounds really harsh, but in the cold light of day, it is a fact.

Bikes and drink do not mix an we all know that without being told of this tragic story.

BKKFZ6..we have all done stupid things after a few beers and as much as we wish it we cannot turn the clock back for those precious few seconds. The only way is forward and try to file this experience into the "Something learnt" file in the back of your head somewhere. The fact that you have shared this with us makes me think you have really learned this lesson the hard way.

I hope your friend makes a very speedy recovery, it is amazing how quickly we mend. After 2 broken arms and a broken leg in the same bike accident I know that from experience...if I could only have those few precious second back.

This is a good lesson for us all to learn at this time of the year. If you are riding or driving and having a drink, leave the keys at home.

Steve

 

[Wolfman]

man don't be down on yourself, s*** happens. Your friend sounds like he will be ok, bikes can be fixed, and am guessing you have both learnt a lesson.

It could of been a lot worse. Think glass half full, not half empty.... You will drive yourself nuts otherwise.
:thumbup:

 

[YamahaMAXdRPMs]

i know you feel bad, but if it were me, i wouldnt feel bad at all.. its no diff than going to a bar and having a DD, then having someone else get in the car and drive off... You cant stop him. you had the keys for the otherr person, not the him, its 100% his fault for taking into his own hands. it was not ur intention, nor your will, you didnt ask, or allow him to get on the bike,, i wouldnt feel bad, and on top of it, i would as him to pay for it.

 

[wrightme43]

That sucks man, I am sorry to hear it. I hope he recovers just fine.

You however have zero control over the actions of others.
Alcohol made the decisions for your friend.
Yes you should of left the bike put up.

Then again, if he had taken a car and done it?
A bulldozer? Had been playing with a gun? A table saw?

Machines are not at fault for the actions of humans.

The main contributing factor here is Alcohol, and Humans. His actions when drinking are the cause here.


Drunk people do stupid crap. I do stupid crap when I drink, I also drink to much when I drink, so I dont drink at all. Thats me. If your friend has a history of doing stupid crap when he drinks, and maybe drinks to much, maybe he would be happier if he had a coke with you guys in the future? I know I am.


I have watched several people drink themselves to death. The worst part is most of them wanted to stop.

Here is the best thing to remember.

Unless YOU!!!!!! stood on his chest and poured liquor down his throat, its not your fault.

Steve.

 

[Cuba]

Unless YOU!!!!!! stood on his chest and poured liquor down his throat, its not your fault.

Unfortunately his friend's insurance company will feel very differently about this. I'm not trying to preach but this was unbelievably stupid. Drinking and driving for fun after your kid's party... I'd say your fully liable for what happened and deserve to be.

 

[SergeantG1]

That sucks man, I am sorry to hear it. I hope he recovers just fine.

You however have zero control over the actions of others.
Alcohol made the decisions for your friend.
Yes you should of left the bike put up.

Then again, if he had taken a car and done it?
A bulldozer? Had been playing with a gun? A table saw?

Machines are not at fault for the actions of humans.

The main contributing factor here is Alcohol, and Humans. His actions when drinking are the cause here.


Drunk people do stupid crap. I do stupid crap when I drink, I also drink to much when I drink, so I dont drink at all. Thats me. If your friend has a history of doing stupid crap when he drinks, and maybe drinks to much, maybe he would be happier if he had a coke with you guys in the future? I know I am.


I have watched several people drink themselves to death. The worst part is most of them wanted to stop.

Here is the best thing to remember.

Unless YOU!!!!!! stood on his chest and poured liquor down his throat, its not your fault.

Steve.

Well said!

 

[Ghost Weim]

I agree with others that it was a lesson very hard learned. There are many times in my life when I wish I could have pushed the "stop" and then "rewind" buttons to do things over. You (and hopefully your firend) have obviously learned from the mistake - now it is time for your friend (and you) to heal and hopefully move on.

If anything comes out of the situation, I hope it is respect. Respect for the power of the machine, respect for what alcohol does and knowing your limitations when under the influence and also respect of others and knowing the potentials for what could happen and taking precautions to not let them happen (hiding keys).

When we bought the bikes, my husband and I both agreed to a "not a drop" philosophy. When we are on the bikes, not a drop of alcohol will enter our body - we know what it can do.

Take care - keep your chin up and be there for your buddy.

 

[Fred]

I don't want to beat you up over this, it sounds like you're doing that to yourself already. I'd like to offer my perspective.

You're correct. You should have left the keys in your pocket. Even though the first friend was had not been drinking as much, he had still been drinking. And you had been drinking, so your ability to judge his sobriety was impaired.

That said, the second friend, the one who wrecked, he is the one to blame for the entire situation.

He was drunk.
He rode your bike without your permission.
He clearly didn't have a clue about how to ride.
He owes you a big apology when he gets out of the hospital.

This could have been a lot worse. And we all do stupid stuff and feel bad about it, so don't think you're unique.

 

[Oscar54]

I'm sorry to read your story, and hope your friend fully recovers. I feel bad for you for having to go through this and the responsibility you feel.

However, your friend is mainly responsible for his actions and the result.

One way to look at this is your friend was destined to crash something due to his irresponsible drinking. At least he only hurt himself and hopefully will learn from it.

Unfortunately you learned a hard lesson too, but should not take responsibility for him crashing your bike.

I hope that you eventually decide to get you bike fixed and continue to ride

I crashed my 750 honda in 1977 because I was exhausted from partying all weekend. Though I was not drunk and had not been drinking when I left to go back to FSU from Miami at 10PM and crashed at 7AM. I fell asleep on my bike on I75 and rearended a car. That was entirely my fault and stupidity. I didn't however blame my motorcycle or stopped riding, I just learned from it.

I hope you will continue to be a fellow biker.

 

[dako81]

Glad everyone's alive, but don't beat yourself up over this, and don't stop riding.

You could have been drinking, and just wanted to start the bike up in your garage or driveway to let your friends listen to you new pipes you just put on or something, and he still would have stolen it and crashed it. I guess the best thing would have been to just keep your keys in your pocket, but he took the bike, without your consent.

You can't be responsible for someone else's actions. They're responsible for their actions, even if they were drunk. It's their responsibility to keep themselves capable to make their own decisions. That's just common sense.

Hope him ruining your bike doesn't hurt your friendship.

 

[racerws]

The story could have had a much worse ending. I would say you and your
friends are all lucky.
Long time ago, my wife and I went to her Grannys house to play cards
with her. We stayed until about midnight, but were not drinking.
On the way home in my pickup truck, I spotted debris scatted for a couple
of hundred yards on the roadside. Then I spotted a dead guy in the ditch.
Turned out, he was at a bachelor party around the corner and jumped
on the high power bike for fun. Lost control going over a hundred and
died that night.
Don't drink and drive. Especially a motorcycle, high power hot rod, or
race cars.
I have a gun safe my keys stay in when bikes not in use. Nobody has a key
but me.
Just the same in your case, learn from this experience, nobody died.

 

[cv_rider]

It's a terrible story, and certainly your feelings of "if only I'd done this..." are natural. However, it's not your fault and it may not even have been bad judgement on your side. Lots of people ride motorcycles after drinking, and in fact it is legal to do so. We all know that's it is safer not to do so, but it wasn't "stupid" to let a friend who had been drinking (to a certain level) ride it.

What was stupid was the other friend who didn't know how to ride getting on. But that wasn't you, and you didn't have anything to do it.

We've all replayed history: "why didn't I do this one unrelated thing differently, as that would have avoided a bad outcome." That's human nature but a waste of time. You be right to question any stupid actions you took, but nothing you did was stupid.

Just try to learn as much as possible from it and move on.

 

[DefyInertia]

You shouldn't let drunk people ride your bike. You're lucky the guy who you gave permission to didn't ride the bike and get hurt.

The other guy owes you a bike and an apology. He should take responsibility for his own actions regardless of what the blood sucking insurance company says.

 

[grommit]

I think he should buy the bike off you. You could throw in a helmet as well.

 

[Ryan T]

Sorry to hear about your friend and your bike. Yes, it would have been wise to give your wife the keys, any amount of alcohol and riding don't mix. However, you didn't force him to take the bike and you never told him he could ride, so, don' feel too guilty. No need to beat yourself any longer. It's a lesson learned, the hard way, unfortunately.

 

[FZ1inNH]

I think Fred summed this up best and I totally agree.

I hope your friend gets back to 100% but I also hope he takes 100% of the responsibility for fixing or replacing the bike. Technically, he should also be arrested for drunk driving and face those charges as well. Expect your insurance to resist so you may have to seek restitution from his insurance.

If this had happened to the friend you INTENDED to let use the bike, then I'd say you are 100% responsible but you had no idea this guy was going to jump on and rocket out.

Regardless, BECAUSE of the alcohol, the keys should have never made an appearance. Better said would have been, "Sure, maybe tomorrow when we're all sober!" Like Fred said, you had more to drink thus you're the last person to judge who is or is not sober.

You can't change what happened but you can never let it happen again. Lesson learned!