Alone after 24 years :(

[oldfast007]

Wow, There is so much depth and insight from you lonesoldier, I do thank you and you are more than correct on so many points...I Know this a process, a process I choose to let GOD direct because I know what he has done for me all my life, plus right now I see all this more clearly each day, no I wasn't a completely bad husband, but I will take responsibility for I have done or failed to do. I will strive to be the better man I know I should be with GOD's grace and leadership. I believe he helps those who help themselves.
You are correct I do need to see what is beyond me, after I complete the process. I will be o.k. even though RIGHT NOW I don't see how, this is precisely where my Faith takes over, for without I am not complete.

Again I take no aim at any beliefs if they differ from mine, I welcome and am thankful for any and all comments, even the one's that might sting a little

 

[CanadianFZ6]

Wow, There is so much depth and insight from you lonesoldier, I do thank you and you are more than correct on so many points...I now this a process, a process I choose to let GOD direct because I know what he has done for me all my life, plus right now I see all this more clearly each day, no I wasn't a completely bad husband, but I will take responsibility for I have done or failed to do. I will strive to be the better man I know I should be with GOD's grace and leadership. I believe he helps those who helps themselves.
You are correct I do need to see what is beyond me, after I complete the process. I will be o.k. even though I have I don't see how, this is precisely where my Faith takes over, for without I am not complete.

Again I take no aim at any beliefs if they differ from mine, I welcome and am thankful for any and all comments, even the one's that might sting a little

Take comfort that nothing ever stays the same... One day ultimately you will be happy again... As simple as it is.,.. take care of yourself first and let the universe (GOD in your case) guide you... You seem to have the right attitude... you will be ok one day....

 

[lonesoldier84]

Wow, There is so much depth and insight from you lonesoldier, I do thank you and you are more than correct on so many points...I now this a process, a process I choose to let GOD direct because I know what he has done for me all my life, plus right now I see all this more clearly each day, no I wasn't a completely bad husband, but I will take responsibility for I have done or failed to do. I will strive to be the better man I know I should be with GOD's grace and leadership. I believe he helps those who helps themselves.
You are correct I do need to see what is beyond me, after I complete the process. I will be o.k. even though I have I don't see how, this is precisely where my Faith takes over, for without I am not complete.

Again I take no aim at any beliefs if they differ from mine, I welcome and am thankful for any and all comments, even the one's that might sting a little

I thank you for doing me the service of taking the time to read what I wrote in the light it was intended to be read. That speaks volumes about your character and I have no doubt you will be just fine. Good people may take some knocks, but as long as it doesn't throw them off their path, all is well. And as far as having a support network is concerned, you will always have us here on standby to bounce things off.

You may be surprised just how similar our belief systems are. The words are a bit different as is some of the imagery and metaphor, but at the end of the day there is indeed much more that unites us than divides us.

People like yourself give me faith for a brighter and more unified future. Let us continue to represent that which is best about the human spirit. You will find many of us in your corner. Keep us posted on where you go from here and how things are going. This really is a great community that rallies together quite well in spite of differing opinions. It is a thoroughly positive process and bodes well for our collective future on this pale blue rock.

Cheers, good luck, and Godspeed my man. I will end with this:


"I don't know where it is that I'm going, but I do know that I am on my way."
[unknown source]

 

[Jman]

It saddens me but I have every expectation that you won't even bother to read most of what I've written below. Instead, you are going to read a handful of catch-phrases, get all worked up without having any idea what I'm really trying to say, and then go on a rant or be either dismissive or insulting, or some combination of the two. If I were to do this, oh the flames, oh the flames.



"Well, he isn't completely and wholeheartedly agreeing with me, so he must have mis-understood me."

That's a pretty open minded approach to have, wouldn't you say?



Thank you. What part of my post exactly was deemed to be an "attack"? This really pisses me off. Religion gets a free pass to piss on anything that is not a complete endorsement of itself. But offering a viewpoint with a desire to help that should in fact be just as if not potentially more beneficial in a polite and passive manner is an attack......really?

I'm not going to derail this thread so I will leave that at that and try to get it back on topic.

But this....I do need to address:


Seriously, where the hell do you get off speaking down to me? You have NO idea what hurdles I have overcome in my life and am continuing to overcome. I can tell you this much, they are very complex and indeed soul-crushing. If I were to throw out some terms and labels they would be adjectives and nouns that carry with them a great deal of implied intensity. But I am not going to do that because I just have a habit of processing things internally and have never been able to have a real conversation about any of it. There might be a reason I drop tens of thousands of dollars a year of money I don't have chasing horizons I can't catch because it makes me feel better? You and I have a pretty similar outlook in this respect and I will remind you of the VERY promising PM exchange we had a while back. Am I trying to speak of things of which I have no understanding? Really? Are you an authority on human suffering because someone made you sad at some point in the recent past? Ok so you have other things that made your life terrible. So you have a monopoly on human suffering now? You can write a textbook guide for each person that is the authoritative textbook on any and all scenarios? Are your viewpoints the only ones that are valid because they are the only ones you CHOSE to employ? Surely because they worked for you, any framework that APPEARS different than yours is automatically incorrect [in spite of the fact that the vast majority of this differing framework is in many respects indistinguishable from yours]?

I will say this here. Anything has the power to crush anyone. For each individual persons, their struggles are their own and to them they are immensely significant. So it is not my intent to belittle anyone's personal experiences. They are for each of us what shapes us and makes us who we are. They are indeed significant and noteworthy. They are not, however, ammunition to belittle other people's viewpoints. If I have done so in my previous paragraph this was not my intent and it may come across that way because I am pissed off.

Lone2, maybe if you stopped making the assumption that your own personal INTERPRETATION of a series of universal truths is the ONLY interpretation, then maybe you would be able to stop hammering your keyboard for a minute and actually gain some form of additional and supplemental philosophical enlightment. These types of discussions often end up with parties with an open mind finding mutual enrichment. Instead you have contributed to the derailing of a VERY positive thread. You injected negativity into it. Why? I don't know. But you felt attacked by someone being polite and offering assistance in a polite manner. You felt your views being threatened and immediately launched a direct offensive. Would it not have been more productive to take a minute, maybe go out to the kitchen for a glass of lemonade, think and process what was said, and then come back and attempt to develop further the discussion we were having as a GROUP? Nope. Instead you smashed your keyboard in with your face. Lol. Come on guy.

Now, in the interest of returning this to a more positive light for the benefit of the original purpose of not only this thread, but everything I have already said and don't want to see slandered into submission:

I am seeing an attitude develop with respect to shirking responsibility for ones own fate and that is something I myself went through and found set me back considerably in my own personal progression. So I posted about it to further help the OP progress from his deeply felt and understandably devastating personal event. I saw a person I felt empathy for and wanted to do what I could to make him feel better both now with hope and down the line with genuine assistance regarding active life decisions.

I don't know his significant other, and I may be a bit quick to rush to judgement, but it strikes me that he may be better off building a new life based on the lessons he has learned here. The "pick yourself up by the bootstraps" will have a DIRECT affect on his dealings with his significant other because it will return him to a place of outstanding confidence and potentially remind her of the man she had initially married. I say this as a sweeping generalization, but an observation I have made is that men become complacent as they age. The elements of their personality which drew in their mate fade away slightly. A return to youthful exuberance and passionate outlays of action in any endeavor deemed productive does wonders. Not only does it remind the other person of exactly who you are, but it reminds YOU of who you are. Happiness and contentment come from within. Confidence, passion, and independence are what fertilize that seed though. And yes, you are both definitely correct, HUMILITY plays a massive and arguably one of the biggest roles there as well. Which is why I have not said otherwise.....I agree with that. But humility breeds inaction if not coupled with a fiery passion. This is where we differ in our idealogies. But I am making assumptions with respect to the personalities and personal histories of the OP and his people. And this may not be accurate. But an outright display of confidence and independence rather than yearning and pleading may be exactly what the OP needs right now.

I didn't want to be too aggressive with my language but this in particular set me off:



Really? Why is it that you feel you need to come back on bended knee when you are not at fault? Return to a position of confidence, and you will see the tone of the conversations you have with her make a DRASTIC change. Best case scenario she re-evaluates her error in judgement, and worst case scenario you find someone else more capable of enriching your life because you have started the momentum by choosing to actively enrich your own life first.

That is just my practical advice spoken from brother to brother. I do not sugar coat it because I don't feel I have to. I have every faith you will read that as it was written....to be helpful and coming from a place of empathy and compassion. If I knew you better I would use more colourful language, but this is a family forum. Lol

Yearning to stitch together the shredded fabric of a former life, you may potentially miss out on so many AMAZING things that are in store for you. This is something only you can decide as only you know the people involved, but this is not a train of thought I wanted to see left unsaid.

So you will all have to forgive me if I am not going to coddle anyone. And this I must now say because it is directly relevant to everything said about it the past few pages. You may all be surprised to learn that I am in fact DEEPLY religious. However, I view each religion as a snapshot-in-time of our philisophical and spiritual development as a species. Each religious text is one more chapter outlining in depth the extent of spiritual insight each geographical and social division of our species had managed to compile at the time of publication. Viewing them in this light, you see nothing but common trends and quite often extremely similar viewpoints. When you remove the mythology behind religions that they are all tied up in, you find your life vastly more enriched and fulfilled. You explore with a newfound sense of wonder and love. You see barriers collapse and you find yourself more in tune with your fellow man. It is tough sometimes when you are belittled for your beliefs and you get angry, but you see through it and know that on the other side is just another man dealing with his life as best he knows how. You feel love and compassion, and forgive that person for their transgressions. I don't hold it against you Lone2. I am able to see why you have reacted in the manner you have and it doesn't come from a place of hate. It comes from a place of being very defensive about a set of beliefs that got you through your own stormy nights. But there is a brighter day ahead. But that only happens if we come together and realize there is more that unites us than divides us. In the grand scheme of things, most of human history is yet to be written. Why look backwards and stop our progression? Why entrench ourselves in rhetoric and mythology? Why divide ourselves along artifically imposed geographical and social lines?

Live, love, be free.

There is a depth of wonder, mystery, beauty and awe that exists in the universe that resists definition by any one religious text. However, taken as a whole and through the medium of open and mutually respectful discourse, we can develop further our understanding not only of one another, but shed insight into the nature of the very wonder, mystery, beauty, and awe that continues to elude us all. It is indeed possible to have a great understanding of these phenomena, and no one group can claim a monopoly on it. But yet, if you don't agree whole-heartedly and enthusiastically with whatever group the individual happened by pure chance to have been born into, then you are, for lack of a better word, an infidel. Oh, and that's even if you actually have shown that you agree with many of the sentiments but have disagreed with their employment and have politely offered an alternate viewpoint for the purpose of enriching a group discussion.

This is why I get upset sometimes. There is so much beauty in the world that is ENRICHED when we come together to experience it, but instead we get hammered back into our little holes. And sitting in our little holes, we stagnate as a species and fail to uncover [or rather delay the discovery] of newly found depths of enrichment and happiness.

Well:

"I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!"
-Howard Beale [Network, 1974]

Very well spoken / written. I have a tremendous amount of respect for the character displayed in this thread by its participants. So cool to meet people with similar / dissimilar beliefs and big enough people to share different views on life without bloodshed. This forum = :rockon:

 

[lonesoldier84]

Very well spoken / written. I have a tremendous amount of respect for the character displayed in this thread by its participants. So cool to meet people with similar / dissimilar beliefs and big enough people to share different views on life without bloodshed. This forum = :rockon:

Thanks I really appreciate that.

And big +1. Seriously. Lol

This forum rocks. It's a great community and one that many of us are quite happy to be a part of, regardless of bikes currently owned/sold/destroyed/purchased. Lol

We are all kindred spirits at the end of the day. We are explorers and adventurers. We are thrill-seekers and joy-riders. We are joined by a true and deeply felt passion for something. It unites us as brothers and sisters and cuts through so many barriers that would otherwise separate us. When we see other members on the boards, we see them as riders the same way we see helmeted individuals out on the public highways. There is no judgement. There is only the bond that unites us. The rest is merely chatter and details.

It is a great thing and a pleasure to be a part of.

Motorcycles....the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

 

[oldfast007]

Update...well its the beginning of the end. She wants out and thats it. I with the help of God poured out my heart in a real apology of all that I've done wrong, but to no avail. I still will pray for a miracle but now I must follow where God leads me. I will continue my change to be the best version of myself I can be and the Dad I always should have been. This is SO painful, the hurt is unbearable but just one day at a time I guess.

Sent from my DROID X2 using Tapatalk 2

 

[The Toecutter]

Update...well its the beginning of the end. She wants out and thats it. I with the help of God poured out my heart in a real apology of all that I've done wrong, but to no avail. I still will pray for a miracle but now I must follow where God leads me. I will continue my change to be the best version of myself I can be and the Dad I always should have been. This is SO painful, the hurt is unbearable but just one day at a time I guess.

Sent from my DROID X2 using Tapatalk 2

Just remember God is in front of you clearing your path,sending his messengers to keep you safe,and throw you a rope when you get stuck! You have purpose and are touching people's lives with your word's.... God gave me my woman back,not the way we were before,but I have no complaint's.... I have never felt so free and satisfied with my life.... 8 month's in now since my separation,we all heal at different rates as our paths are not the same..... just give it time.... your life will get better!!

 

[Susan]

Aw, oldfast. I'm so sorry to hear that.

 

[GIXXERKELLY]

Lawyer up, start watching your bank accounts like a hawk, start checking her cell phone records.

Been there done that. I can promise you things will get better :thumbup:

 

[Marthy]

Hang in there Bro, all relation brake up hurt. The earlier you move on better it will get. Turn the page on her and enjoy your new life. It will get better... been there done that. Make a list of all the things YOU ever wanted to do, and DO IT!

You seam to be a good man... she'll miss you.

 

[Dresnewtoy]

Be encouraged my friend. God is not a sadistic overlord that smiles at our pain, His heart breaks for you. God is good and there is a future purpose that He will bring to bear from your present pain!

Psalm 119:
71 It is good for me that I was afflicted,
that I might learn your statutes.
72 The law of your mouth is better to me
than thousands of gold and silver pieces.

 

[MrMogensen]

Here's something to cheer you up a little bit - well at least for a moment or two...

I wanted to find some FZ6 babes for you (got the idea from Lonesoldier excellent findings) so I just googled "FZ6 Lady" and found this...

Flickriver: Most interesting photos from Yamaha FZ6 Motorcyles pool

Pictures just keeps flooding with FZ6 - including a couple of cute FZ6 women aswell Maybe this has already been posted in here?

Wish you all the best - greetings from little Denmark!!!

EDIT: you need to keep on scrooling down for additional pictures to load... at least that's works for me.

 

[GIXXERKELLY]

How are you holding up? Anything new?

 

[lonesoldier84]

Here's something to cheer you up a little bit - well at least for a moment or two...

I wanted to find some FZ6 babes for you (got the idea from Lonesoldier excellent findings) so I just googled "FZ6 Lady" and found this...

Flickriver: Most interesting photos from Yamaha FZ6 Motorcyles pool

Pictures just keeps flooding with FZ6 - including a couple of cute FZ6 women aswell Maybe this has already been posted in here?

Wish you all the best - greetings from little Denmark!!!

EDIT: you need to keep on scrooling down for additional pictures to load... at least that's works for me.

I like this new direction.

 

[oldfast007]

I am at a loss she keeps wanting to see me saying you can come over anytime see the kids etc. Its still your house etc. Went for coffe together even showed up at my folks house to make sure I had cigs, bread, juice. Acted like nothing had changed. Testing the waters?? Going smucking futs here. Arghh. But I am still commited to follow GOD and continue my change to the best version of myself. But I am so grateful for my kids, parents and my brother...and this forum!

Sent from my DROID X2 using Tapatalk 2

 

[GIXXERKELLY]

I am at a loss she keeps wanting to see me saying you can come over anytime see the kids etc. Its still your house etc. Went for coffe together even showed up at my folks house to make sure I had cigs, bread, juice. Acted like nothing had changed. Testing the waters?? Going smucking futs here. Arghh. But I am still commited to follow GOD and continue my change to the best version of myself. But I am so grateful for my kids, parents and my brother...and this forum!

Sent from my DROID X2 using Tapatalk 2

Hmmm...she obviously cares for you some still. If you haven't seen or heard of another guy with her and you haven't heard from her lawyer you all might have a chance. I'm not trying to give you false hope though.

In Texas there is a manfatory 30 day "cooling off" period that starts the day the divorce papers are filed with the courts. This keeps the knee jerk reactions in check.

Hang in there, I'm sure the emotional roller coaster absolutely sucks right now. You may want to get on some anti depressants to help you out until the waters calm.

Good luck to you what ever happens.:thumbup:

 

[Humperdinkel]

Women !!!!! They certainly are queer cattle :scared: :BLAA:

Hang in there mate , she may very well be starting to have second thoughts :thumbup: but make sure you dont force the subject....

 

[PhotoAl]

Good words from GIXXERKELLY. Sounds like there is some hope. Do the best you can for the kids and always remember they are what is most important and you have a major role in how their future turn out and having both parents is very important. Even if it does not work out, the better the relationship you have with your wife the better it will be for them, particularly if you have a difficult child - have been there and it can be tough with both parents working together.

Cheering and praying for you.

 

[The Toecutter]

I am at a loss she keeps wanting to see me saying you can come over anytime see the kids etc. Its still your house etc. Went for coffe together even showed up at my folks house to make sure I had cigs, bread, juice. Acted like nothing had changed. Testing the waters?? Going smucking futs here. Arghh. But I am still commited to follow GOD and continue my change to the best version of myself. But I am so grateful for my kids, parents and my brother...and this forum!

Sent from my DROID X2 using Tapatalk 2

I have had similar experiance with my Ex doing the same thing..... it always comes back to me telling her to Get Lost!! I had to do it yesterday as a matter of fact... :spank:

 

[Wh0M3]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. My first marriage was short lived and we didn't have anything to fight over in the end. I can't say that I understand anything that you are going through and I have a family with kids now it would crush me to have that taken away.

My heart goes out to you and your kids.