Questions for the opposite sex!

[jody.adams]

This is a motorcycle forum right?

 

[jdesiano1]

This is a motorcycle forum right?

Technically yes but you are in the BAR where anything goes. Now what sage wisdom do you have for the opposite sex?

 

[FizzySix]

If we can see you and you're attempting to interact with us in some way, regardless of what we were thinking about before you asked, we're now probably thinking about what you look like nekkid.

:ban::justkidding:

 

[necrotimus]

Female scientisists have just uncovered man's greatest secret, the male unabridged dictionary.

apple = sex
ball = sex
car = sex (in car)
.
.
.
nothing = sex


My questions for women:
Men really only think about 2 things having sex and why we aren't having sex. How is it possible we always JUST miss you being in the mood?

If 50% of the household is male then why must we remember to put the seat down?

 

[wolfc70]

What women mean when they say…

Fine:

This is the word women use at the end of any argument that they feel they are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use “fine” to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

Five minutes:

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so they feel that it?s an even trade.

Nothing:

This means something and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “Five Minutes” and end with the word “Fine”.

Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows):

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over “Nothing” and will end with the word “Fine”.

Go Ahead (normal eyebrows):

This means “I give up” or “do what you want because I don?t care”. You will get a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead” in just a few minutes, followed by “Nothing” and “Fine” and she will talk to you in about “Five Minutes” when she cools off.

Loud Sigh:

This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”.

Soft Sigh:

Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. “Soft Sighs” are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

Oh:

This word followed by any statement is trouble.

Example; “Oh, let me get that”. Or, “Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night”. If she says “Oh” before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is “Fine” when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. “Oh” as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows “Go ahead” followed by acts so unspeakable that I can?t bring myself to write about them.

That?s Okay:

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. “That?s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done. “That?s Okay” is often used with the word “Fine” and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead”. At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

Please Do:

This is not a statement, it is an offer.

A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn?t get a “That?s Okay”.

Thanks: (depreciated)

A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you?re welcome.

Thanks A Lot:

This is much different than “Thanks”. A woman will say, “Thanks A Lot” when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the “Loud Sigh”. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the “Loud Sigh”, as she will only tell you “Nothing”.

This is why guys don't bother to dig deeper. We know something is wrong, but it is not worth the agony of finding what is wrong. "Fine" means that we don't have to rush to the hospital. Tomorrow will still come.
We don't fully get codes, we could try to decipher it, but that would leave less time to think about tacos and salsa, and how I am going to get the oil stains off the garage floor.

The "thanks a lot" I understand, clearly. I've gotten the "thanks a lot for spending $350 on a motorcycle that does not run, and makes the garage smell like gasoline." This is meant to make me feel guilty about not spending $350 on something shiny that will be worn once then put into the bottom of the jewelry box.

"Oh". Guys know this is bad. Even if our logic at the time tells us otherwise. "Oh, you mean you spent an entire paycheck on boxes of rusted parts from a motorcycle salvage yard!!!???!!?"

If women were not around though, guys would be extinct from natural stupidity. Guys will look at something and think of 100 ways they can do it, where women will look at it as a 1000 ways this could mean a trip to the emergency room.

 

[rdoucet]

Why is it that I can be home all day with my wife and son - no riding, trips by myself to the store, ect... and conversation between my wife and I is almost non-existent........

Then, as soon as something of interest is on television that my wife new I had planned to watch in the evening she decides we need to talk through the entire program!!!

Love my wife, however, must be some evil plot behind this - thank God for being able to pause live television at home!!

LOL!!

 

[jody.adams]

Technically yes but you are in the BAR where anything goes. Now what sage wisdom do you have for the opposite sex?

Ah...this would not be the first time I have walked into the wrong bar. Seeing assless chaps in person was unexpected. No sage advice other than to look for the rainbow on the door before entering.

 

[wolfc70]

If 50% of the household is male then why must we remember to put the seat down?

Just don't even bother going there with this one. No matter how much logic you apply to your agument, you will not win (survive) this battle. Especially if you try and convince your S/O that the cat somehow lifted up the toilet lid and fell in. :disapprove:


This is why I am trying to make a law that all bathroom remodels must have urinals installed.:thumbup:

 

[Tremulant]

This is why I am trying to make a law that all bathroom remodels must have urinals installed.:thumbup:

+1000 to that!!! :thumbup:

 

[Fred]

This is why I am trying to make a law that all bathroom remodels must have urinals installed.:thumbup:

Why bother? Bathrooms already have a sink and a bathtub.

Fred

 

[Bates121]

A bit off topic, but I've known and dated girls who wanted to remain "mysterious" to me (I guess so I wouldn't lose interest), and yet they would blab on about every little thing that goes through their head...hence leaving no mystery.

Guys are the opposite. We hate sharing our feelings. We suck at it. So when you ask us what we're thinking, we usually panic trying to think of something meaningful (because we were just thinking about our motorcycle, or how hungry we are), or we just don't feel like sharing.

Nicely put:thumbup:

 

[boo68]

A bit off topic, but I've known and dated girls who wanted to remain "mysterious" to me (I guess so I wouldn't lose interest), and yet they would blab on about every little thing that goes through their head...hence leaving no mystery.

Guys are the opposite. We hate sharing our feelings. We suck at it. So when you ask us what we're thinking, we usually panic trying to think of something meaningful (because we were just thinking about our motorcycle, or how hungry we are), or we just don't feel like sharing.

Being married, I like to think that I'm getting better at sharing my feelings with my wife, but I still frustrate her on a constant basis. It's just part of life. Men and women are very different.

At least you are trying to communicate.. that is what it is all about. It is nice to feel thought about.. but why ask what someone is thinking? If you are already hanging out, dating, or married.. there is no need for a question like that. That is a set up in my opinion.. you can ask how someone's day went, or if they are feeling okay if they are acting out of sorts.. but if they are just quiet,enjoy the time, put some music on to enjoy together.. it doesn't need to be complicated.

 

[jdesiano1]

As far as the toilet seat thing:

If you could aim properly and not pee on the toilet seat You wouldnt have to put it up.
If you wanted to leave it down, just check for splashes and kindly wipe off with a little tissue and flush.
If you wanted to leave it down just kinda squat down to where you are relatively close to the bowl (may be different distances depending on) and you won't have to splash.
If you wanted to leave it down why not just sit down and tuck and pee that way.

The only reason, ONLY,that I want it down is sitting down in the middle of the night and falling into Freezing ass water. If you did this one time you would understand, however you do not have to sit down to pee so I actually think you got the better end of the deal. LOL:Flip:

 

[jdesiano1]

kinda like flipping a light switch when you leave the room, not hard.

 

[jdesiano1]

As for the sex thing, I dont know about most women but for me sometimes it just isnt worth the time. Guys your end is almost guaranteed, we usually have to work for ours. If I could just get it relatively easy each time I'd be all for it. No it has nothing to do with the guy.

 

[jdesiano1]

Ah...this would not be the first time I have walked into the wrong bar. Seeing assless chaps in person was unexpected. No sage advice other than to look for the rainbow on the door before entering.

Our little secret

 

[jtarkany]

I saw this and thought it was fun. We all have questions about the opposite sex but do we ever get real answers? If you have a question or insiteful answer post em up!

My first question

Guys: When we ask you what you are thinking, and you say nothing is your mind really that blank?

Mine usually is .

In general I tend to live in the moment. My wife on the other hand is usually thinking about multiple things on multiple time frames .

 

[mstewar1]

"Nothing"= unless I want to have my head bitten off, there's nothing that I was thinking about that I can/will tell you -- if I value my mental and perhaps physical safety or well-being.

The other guys have really hit it on the head. We're thinking about sex, food, sex, going out to play, sex, what was that ticking noise my bike was making during that last ride, sex, what's that smell... You get the picture.

It's just not that interesting. We'd start to tell you, you'd feign interest which would last a minute or so, then your eyes would take on that glazed over, deer-in-the-headlights kind of quality. So instead of hearing us say, "...and I think the valve on my number three cylinder may be out of adjustment because..." you'd be hearing the Charlie Brown teacher's voice "wa wa wa, waa wa wa..."

-->snip/quote from boo:
but why ask what someone is thinking? If you are already hanging out, dating, or married.. there is no need for a question like that. That is a set up in my opinion.. you can ask how someone's day went, or if they are feeling okay if they are acting out of sorts.. but if they are just quiet,enjoy the time, put some music on to enjoy together.. it doesn't need to be complicated.
<-- end quote

Boo, will you marry me..? Or do you have a sister..?

 

[boo68]

kinda like flipping a light switch when you leave the room, not hard.

Just like sex for the guy... but if you are completely comfortable (let go).. your side should come a lot easier too.

 

[jdesiano1]

Mine usually is .

In general I tend to live in the moment. My wife on the other hand is usually thinking about multiple things on multiple time frames .

Yeah sometimes John asks what I am thinking and I say something wierd like Mayonaise and he says what and then I have to tell him this 5 minute story about how I started thinking about cameras and ended up with mayo. Our brains are complicated! LOL