What to do with ex girlfriends gear?

[Kazza]

And then every time you think about it, or see it, you'll be p!ssed off.

Better to let it go, methinks, and remember the good times instead of further tarnishing them with the 'end of relationship' argument.

Cheers,
Rick

Nah, you sell it all and spend it on yourself

 

[mave2911]

Different people, different views Kazza.

In a way, I still love my ex-wife. (even after extra-marital infidelity)

I would never in a million years be with her again, ever, but if she needed my help, I would give it freely.

Just not in me to hate, I suppose.

Cheers,
Rick

 

[McLovin]

She will hate you for bringing it up in a time like this. When you are certain that it's totally over maybe you can offer to return something she gave you and lead into the conversation like that. I still wouldn't ask unless she offers it first.

 

[CBRF3RIDER]

I guess I am just trying to figure out my gameplan now so I can have a course of action. I was trying to figure out if it was something I should ask for or just leave alone because I dont want to come off poorly. I just wanted to know how gear was percieved to a non-rider. Never really had to think about it before so I figured I would ask to see what others thought. My first thoughts were just to leave it alone but then I got to thinking that maybe it is an appropriate thing to ask for, just really wasnt sure.

I am just the kind of person who hopes for the best but plans for the worst. If it was anyone else I would probably say screw it and get it all back, regardless of consequence but I wouldnt do that to her. Ive burned an awful lot of bridges in my past and I dont want to do that here. I just know somethings really wrong, and I just have a very bad feeling about this. Dont want to spill my heart out on the internet though lol so ill just leave it at that.

Thanks for all the input though! Like I said I am sure someone has wondered this before or will in the future.

 

[soupflakes]

Keep it for all the new ladies you be taking for rides, that's what I did!:rockon:

 

[Kazza]

I guess I am just trying to figure out my gameplan now so I can have a course of action. I was trying to figure out if it was something I should ask for or just leave alone because I dont want to come off poorly. I just wanted to know how gear was percieved to a non-rider. Never really had to think about it before so I figured I would ask to see what others thought. My first thoughts were just to leave it alone but then I got to thinking that maybe it is an appropriate thing to ask for, just really wasnt sure.

I guess I am just the kind of person who hopes for the best but plans for the worst. If it was anyone else I would probably say screw it and get it all back, regardless of consequence but I wouldnt do that to her. Ive burned an awful lot of bridges in my past and I dont want to do that here. I just know somethings really wrong, and I just have a very bad feeling about this. Dont want to spill my heart out on the internet though lol so illjust leave it at that.

Thanks for all the input though! Like I said I am sure someone has wondered this before or will in the future.

You might even find she WANTS to give it back. If you do end up breaking up, she might not want to see the gear. Might remind HER of YOU.

 

[CBRF3RIDER]

You might even find she WANTS to give it back. If you do end up breaking up, she might not want to see the gear. Might remind HER of YOU.

Good point, didnt think of that!

Forgot to mention- I wouldnt ask for it back tomorrow or anything. She has a lot of my stuff that I need to get back (camping gear, various clothes, etc...), so I figured if I was to ask her for the gear it would be when I was getting my the rest of my things. We lived together for a bit and were together almost every day so we both have a lot of each others things at our places and at our parents houses. Of course, our parents live about a hundred miles from each other and about 80 miles from where we are living now.

 

[fikshunn]

During your talk tomorrow, Actively listen and try not to be defensive. Learn from your mistakes and see what you can do better next time.

Good luck

 

[PhotoAl]

+1 on all the comments about not asking for the gear back. What has been given has been given - that way if you do part (and I really hope you don't) you will be clear. 2 or 3 years ago my son and his fiancee decided to break up. It was mutual and she gave the ring back and they are friends, in fact she is still good friends with the family. He has a ring which just sits in the safe deposit box - he may sell it some day but won't use it again. As so often is the case, after the fact is not the big issue we sometimes think it is.

Hope and pray ya'll work things out tomorrow.

 

[FloppyRunner]

No advice about the gear, but I wish you the best of luck!

 

[jcombs]

Give it some time. Maybe later on you two will be in a better position and things like that can be ironed out reasonably.
jc

 

[Tagger]

It's hard to judge other people's relationship that you don't know. Have that talk with her. The easiest thing would be that she would "buy you out". It's her gear, her sizes etc so why take that away? just ask for a reasonable price and everybodies happy.


offcourse, it all depends on how she is and what kind of relationship you had. Maybe she's reasonable about it or maybe she's a woman (please see the joke! )

I wouldn't bombard her with all this practical stuff right away though, let the emotions settle first for both sides and then see how to deal with that kind of stuff

 

[Smersh]

It sounds like you were going serious, thinking about proposing, so I hope that conversation today goes well and you figure things out. I've been in situations when I was going to meet my then girlfriend and wasn't sure if we'd work it out, or I'd be coming back a single man, and, man, it was nerve-wrecking (to me at least), and I'm the type who tries to plan for all possible outcomes, so this type of questions definitely were on my mind. Here is my advice: Let it go - don't think about this right now. Few scenarios:

• Conversation goes well, you work things out - you dont need to worry about the gear for obvious reasons
• Conversation does not go well, but things are civil (you both agree to part your ways) - then once you start talking about her stuff at your place and your stuff at hers, I'd ask if she's going to be using the gear, and if not if you could have it. If it's a yes - great, if it's a no - kinda rolls into the following
• Conversation does not go well, and things are not very civil (one of you is resentful, etc) - no money is worth going through stress of argument when things are not civil. From your post it sounds like you care about her, and you probably will not be in the best of places emotionally, so I would just write it off as "lost".

Good luck, and I hope things work out!

 

[David Thompson]

I'd ask if she's going to be using the gear, and if not if you could have it. If it's a yes - great

if there is an engagement ring, my understanding is that if she breaks up with you she has to give it back. but if you break up with her she can keep it

 

[Full Throttle]

Just my 2 cents, the gear is considered a gift but you can always ask for it back as she may not ride again (be nice about it). If she says no, then you have no right to it. A ring on the other hand is considered a contractual agreement satisfied upon marriage. If she calls it off, then you get the ring back. If you call it off, I believe you don't have any right to it back unless she gives it back.

 

[champion221elite]

Yeah, it's a chunk of change but consider it a lesson that probably saved you big money down the road. I'd rather lose $500 bucks in motorcycle gear now, instead of half of your assets in a divorce.

Cut bait and walk away!

 

[2006_FZ6]

So how did the conversation go? Is she now the "Ex" or "TBD"...:BLAA:

 

[Randomchaos]

My 2 cents.

I have been through this same thing before, kinda. Girl i was with for 5 years, engaged, wedding planning going on, up and walked out on me one night. Drug me through **** for 3 months, until I found out there was another guy she had left me for. I let her keep her motorcycle gear. Had bought her 2 jackets, one of them leather, riding pants, boots, helmet, and 2 sets of gloves. She did have her own bike, but barely ever rode it, and barely ever wore her riding gear. When its over, its over. Cut ties, have her box all her crap up, or if she refuses to do it, do it for her. Let her keep the things you gave her, it can only start more fighting if you ask for stuff back. If she asks for stuff back, ask for your stuff back though. Gotta be fair on that part . Good luck with your talk, I went through ALOT of those with my ex.

 

[jcombs]

Women....geeeeeez!! They are different creatures.
My wife is still PISSED at me for buying the bike. Now the house is an uncomfortable place- SO.... I just spend more time on the bike :BLAA:

 

[chomorro]

I actually just went through this in October. I didnt ask her though, i just took the gear lol. She said she was going to sell her motorcycle to pay me back some money so i told her i was going to get the gear and sell it to make up for some money she owed me.

She didnt contest it, and all i could sell was the Shoei helmet anyways. The jacket is hard to sell, since its hard to fit everyone.