Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.
(Winston Churchill loved them)
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify: I put 'DOCTOR'.
11. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
15. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
And for the wrenchers out there, roll into this section paying close attention to the "mentioned" straightening technique at 2:00 Start at 1:38....
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2F68oK3gsg"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2F68oK3gsg[/ame]