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~~Daily Feed, post what made you laugh today ~~

A pretty young gypsy girl knocked on my door and asked if I had any old clothing. I said yes, but asked what I would get in return. She said I could play with her breasts.

I thought, that’s fair, tit for tat.:thumbup:
 
Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.

3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

6. If all is not lost, where is it?

7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

8. Some days, you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.

9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.

10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom. ((OR they want money or something fixed!!))

14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.

15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play chess?

16. Its not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.

17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter

19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
 
This is pretty funny!

A 6 year old and a 4 year old are raking the yard.
The 6 year old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started learning to cuss."The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
The 6 year old continues,"When we go in for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with @ss."
The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios.
WHACK!
He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up,and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step.
His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!"
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"
"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your @ss it won't be Cheerios!" :spank: :spank: :thumbup:
 
Dont worry about the snow this year,just fit one of these.......:thumbup:

16019_10151327267037812_110479080_n.jpg
 
I've always believed the Air that we all breathe was free.

Then I bought a bag of potato chips/crisps.

:BLAA:
 
Just like Ice Age!
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZkAP-CQlhA]Squirrel fills Antenna with Acorns - YouTube[/ame]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_IYQdKkWsU]Ice Age: Scrat's Continental Crack-Up - YouTube[/ame]
 
A Thanksgiving Warning from the World's Greatest Actor:

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYkRF_FmD40]William Shatner & State Farm® present "Eat, Fry, Love," a turkey fryer fire cautionary tale - YouTube[/ame]

:thumbup:
 
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