sniff6
Be nice i am
So Funny !!!Add to your watch list:
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- Thread starter FinalImpact
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ELIZABETH
Goofball Extraordinaire
On arriving home, Norm was met at the door by his sobbing wife, Cheri' who tearfully explained, "It was the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone." Norm immediately drove in to town to confront the druggist and demand an apology.
Before Norm could say no more than a few words, the druggist hollered, "Now, just a minute, you hold on! Please just listen to my side of it... This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I got up late. I had no breakfast and hurried half dressed, out to the car, only to realize that I had just locked the house with both house and car keys inside.
I had to break a window to get my keys. Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. and then three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire. When I got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up, and I started waiting on them, and all the time the damn phone was ringing off the hook."
The druggist continued, "Then breaking a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, I spilled them all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels; the damn phone was still ringing. When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with bunch of perfume bottles all of them fell to the floor and broke.
Meanwhile, the damn phone is has not stopped ringing for a second and when I finally got to answer it. It was your wife, Cheri' wanting to know how to use a digital rectal thermometer... and honest Norm, all I did was really tell her!
Before Norm could say no more than a few words, the druggist hollered, "Now, just a minute, you hold on! Please just listen to my side of it... This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I got up late. I had no breakfast and hurried half dressed, out to the car, only to realize that I had just locked the house with both house and car keys inside.
I had to break a window to get my keys. Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. and then three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire. When I got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up, and I started waiting on them, and all the time the damn phone was ringing off the hook."
The druggist continued, "Then breaking a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, I spilled them all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels; the damn phone was still ringing. When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with bunch of perfume bottles all of them fell to the floor and broke.
Meanwhile, the damn phone is has not stopped ringing for a second and when I finally got to answer it. It was your wife, Cheri' wanting to know how to use a digital rectal thermometer... and honest Norm, all I did was really tell her!
So true. . .
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For the Dog lovers among us. . .
>> CLICK! <<
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View attachment 45558
For the Dog lovers among us. . .
>> CLICK! <<
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ELIZABETH
Goofball Extraordinaire
I had to scan this. . . Funny Birthday Card!
Inside reads; "Spread the word. . . . . It's your Birthday!!!!" :BLAA: :BLAA:
Inside reads; "Spread the word. . . . . It's your Birthday!!!!" :BLAA: :BLAA:
****** 22 ADULT TRUTHS ******
1 Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind-of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong brothers and sisters.
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
1 Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind-of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong brothers and sisters.
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
sniff6
Be nice i am
Sooooo True!!!!! :thumbup:
This is some crazy @ss lyrics from a local gal who isn't afraid to belt it out. . .
*** NSFW **** and I WOULD NOT blare it across the cube farm as doing so could lead to an HR moment! BUT OMG IS IT FUNNY!
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5U-YT-mRmI]Storm Large 8 MILES WIDE music video - YouTube[/ame]
*** NSFW **** and I WOULD NOT blare it across the cube farm as doing so could lead to an HR moment! BUT OMG IS IT FUNNY!
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5U-YT-mRmI]Storm Large 8 MILES WIDE music video - YouTube[/ame]
Why MTV doesn't play music videos anymore:
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ysyZF-DZFY]Why Doesn't MTV Play Music Videos Anymore? - YouTube[/ame]
:BLAA:
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ysyZF-DZFY]Why Doesn't MTV Play Music Videos Anymore? - YouTube[/ame]
:BLAA:
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This may only be funny to southerners, but since I am a ex-southerner, I found it amusing and true:
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUFL2GT1-2g]Sh%t Southern Women Say - YouTube[/ame]
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUFL2GT1-2g]Sh%t Southern Women Say - YouTube[/ame]
Bugger !!!
Dont feel to bad Ade , I've been there & done that....... Hurts your pride more than anything else
This will make you smile
Toyota bugger - YouTube
Humpy started this. . . >>New Hilux Car Ad from Australia Cows and Calves - YouTube
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWfocJPpIeA"]New Hilux Car Ad from Australia Cows and Calves - YouTube[/ame]
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-Rp30kUP5E"]Toyota Hilux New Funny Commercial - YouTube[/ame]
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DV6X7POhdoo]☆ Funny Toyota Rav4 Murder Ad Banned Commercial 2011 Carjam Radio Show - YouTube[/ame]
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ELIZABETH
Goofball Extraordinaire
There are some VERY funny posts following the original. They are worth the pages of reading.
I'm surprised I've never seen this before - Suzuki SV650 Forum: SV650, SV1000, Gladius Forums
I'm surprised I've never seen this before - Suzuki SV650 Forum: SV650, SV1000, Gladius Forums
A deep-sea diver is twenty feet below sea level when he sees another guy with no scuba gear. He goes down another thirty feet, and the guy with no equipment stays with him. He takes out a waterproof chalkboard and writes, "How the hell can you stay down this deep without equipment?" The guy takes the chalkboard and writes, "You *******, I'm drowning."
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Went for a walk this morning and found this
Sent from my iPhone using Forum Runner and it works every time !
Sent from my iPhone using Forum Runner and it works every time !