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Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now it would appear to work beautifully thx TT and Dennis
 
Reminds me of the time a bunch of us had ridden our dirt bikes up to a mountain lake and one guy decided to go skinny dipping. A horse fly landed on his Johnson and he tried to kill it by clapping his hands together. It was a while before we all quit laughing. Well, almost all of us.
 
A Yamaondason 2000 SP 8.2. It was the most expensive bike in the world, costing $32,150.99.

The first day he bought the new bike he took it for a spin. While doing so he stopped at a red light at the city limits. An elderly gentleman pulled up next to him on a moped. The man looked over at the bright, red, shiny, sleek, new motorcycle and asked, "What kind of scooter ya got there, sonny?"

The young man replied: "It's a Yamaondason 2000 SP 8.2. It costs $32,150.99 out the door".
- "That's a lot of money", said the old man, shocked. "Why does it cost so much?"
- "Because this bike can go 200 mph!" exclaimed the young man.
- "Can I take a closer look at it?" the old fella asked.
- "Sure", replied the new owner.

From his moped, the old man leaned over and took a good look at the very fast-looking machine. Just then the light changed, so the young man decided to show the old guy what his new motorcycle could really do. He gave it full throttle and within 20 seconds the speedometer read 199 mph.

Suddenly, he noticed a dot in his rear-view mirror. It seemed to be getting closer! He slowed a little to see what it could be, and, suddenly, WHHHOOOSSSHHH, something whipped passed him going much faster. "What could be faster than my 2000 SP 8.2?" the young man thought to himself. Then, just ahead of him, he saw the dot coming back at him. WHHHOOOSSSHHH! It went flying by him again, going in the opposite direction! It almost looked like the elderly man on the moped! "How could that be?" thought the young man. Again he saw the dot in his mirror! WHHHOOOSSSHHH! KABBBLAMMM! The moped slammed into the rear of the shiny new 2000 SP 8.2, demolishing the rear end of the young rider's pride and joy.

The young man jumped off and saw it was the old timer. Of course the moped was crushed, and the old man was lying on the ground, pretty beat up. The young man ran over to him and asked, "Are you hurt? Is there anything I can do for you?"
The old man groaned and replied, "Yes, would you please unhook my suspenders from your side-view mirror?"
 
Not worthy of new thread or anything..... So I behold this....

The local Drag Strip as of Today!

It looks as though they may need to reclassify what they run there!
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Who buys a motorcycle with a helicopter engine and where would he take it? :D

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vc5KwG59tTU]Awesome Sound of a Jet Powered Motorcycle - YouTube[/ame]
 
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I'd like to buy some cyanide.

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband.

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law. I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide. Just get a divorce!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
 
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