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Botch

I.Y.A.A.Y.A.S!!
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2nd childhood

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A guy on a local forum posted this regarding "Dangerous Biker Gangs"

Okay, so if you've been keeping up with this biker-gang rumble down in Texas, I think people are anxious and I just saw a quickie video on my news feed on how to spot a "dangerous biker" from a "normal biker". I find this kind of hilarious.

I have a few of my own suggestions:

1. Are they human? They've probably committed several crimes, avoid them... in fact, suspect yourself.... You know what you did!

2. People on bicycles... can you trust them? (See above)

3. Are they flying "colors"? People flying evil "Harley Davidson" colors are generally over the age of 50, and can be easily defeated with a few choice words on politics... get them started on a good rant and walk away, they'll be too busy to notice.

Hell, I'm only in my late 30s, ride a sport bike, and I have a thing or two to say about the economy!!!

If those colors are a rainbow, you might be in a pride parade. It's okay, they're just looking for equal rights and a right to exist and aren't likely to bug you.

4. Wait... cars have two wheels as well (and bodies can easily be dumped in the back)! Your friends and neighbors are all killers!

5. Are they flying "Sons of Anarchy" colors? This means they are more interested in getting home to the next episode than bugging you. C'mon, Ron Perlman is the ****! That said... I find the series a little boring... but I watch tons of Japanese cartoons with character that have half their body-mass in eyeballs, so what do I know?

6. Do you know someone obsessed with Easy Rider 2: The Ride Home? Call the police, this is one of the worst films in the world and they likely need psychological help. They probably aren't dangerous, but they will lick the chrome off of any available surface.

7. Do they look like they could, or want to beat you up? Bikers come in all shapes and sizes, but so do the rest of you. I generally look pissed off, but it's because I'm probably hungry (seriously... where is the nearest burrito place?)

8. Are they clad in leather? Okay, this is not an indicator. Did you have to pay to get in? Yes? Two drink minimum and they'll leave you alone. You might want to visit nicer strip clubs in the future. Keep your mouth shut and don't hassle anyone bigger than you. If you're polite, don't hassle anyone. Remember, courtesy is the language of respect...

9. Do they look like they're in a biker gang? Yes? Well, leave them the hell alone. They will likely do the same as assaulting passers-by is a good way to get popular with the local constabulary. Say "hi" if they say hi and don't make lingering eye contact as it means that you might want to sex them (which makes everyone feel a bit awkward).

10. Is this person a biker? Check! Are they wearing leather? Check! Are they flying "colors" (my, aren't we in the know!), Check! Okay... don't touch their damn bike.

Are they wearing a helmet? Check? Don't touch their bike.

Are they sitting on a bike? Don't touch their bike.

Are they wearing pants? Don't touch their damn bike.

Get the hint? DON'T TOUCH **** THAT AIN'T YOURS.

Okay, so be safe and such. Good fight... good night!
 

sniff6

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I will put this here if only for the honing tool...lol

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bT1nRq-cM7M&index=1&list=PLWdpiGCq-K6_PrGgBCC9eVLaofL-dcTtu"]YouTube[/ame]
 
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2nd childhood

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View attachment 56820

"An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake...

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

'Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy ... do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No ... not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times"...
 
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