Wife not happy with the idea of me on a bike

[jdoorn14]

Just curious to know how many of you (if any) started riding after getting married.

My wife just about had a fit when I told her I signed up for the MSF course run by the local community college. I rationalized it for her by saying that this is more or less an experiment to see if I like riding, while taking a rider safety course that will give me some good skills if/when I do happen to like it.

While she has largely gotten over the initial shock, she's still not wild about the idea. Part of the problem is that she worked for several years as a trauma nurse at one of the local hospitals...so she has seen the worst of the worst (who make it to the hospital alive, at least).

I have a clean driving record. The only accident I have ever been in was in the winter with ice on the ground, and it was only a minor fender bender at that. I haven't gotten a speeding ticket in years and I tend to drive fairly defensively--when I get cut off I drop back to give space, I always check the mirror when stopping hard so I can make adjustments if the person behind isn't paying attention.

Anyway, I'm looking for stories about any of you who needed to do some convincing of the spouse before getting the a-ok to ride.

 

[dxh24]

Do what most of us did (lie) lol :spank:---
"it gets better gas mileage"
"it will save us money so i can take you to dinner more often" :thumbup:
"loud pipes save lives" ----lol sorry

But seriously, she should be happy that your smart enough to take a safety course instead of having a crisis, buying a zx-14 and wrapping yourself around a lamp post at 100mph...

Be rational (unlike me lol:spank and she'll come around, just remember, she isn't happy about it because she CARES about you, not because she doesn't want you to have fun :thumbup:

 

[VEGASRIDER]

You know, I get a lot of men who take the MSF Class after they have gotten a divorce. Seems like the marriage thing has kept them from riding, and one of the first things once they become single is to take a b line straight for this class. LOL...

 

[edgeofnj]

i took the msf course before getting married, but didn't buy a bike until after we were married. in my case, what seemed to help the most in easing her mind was having a mutual female friend who is also into bikes. good luck!

 

[mnuttall87]

Do it the right way, just take her to the MSF class with you!

 

[Motogiro]

:welcome:To this great forum!

Forget everything you know about driving a car when it comes to riding. Take the MSF course and get experience. The best is to ride with seasoned riders that'll hopefully watch you and call you on bad habits.

 

[GTPAddict]

X2, driving and riding have less in common then you might think. My mom bought a scooter last year to save gas and commute back and forth to work. It probably has 200 miles on it. She thought since she'd been driving for 35 years it should be easy to ride the scooter - she was wrong. I've been trying to talk her in to taking an MSF course since she bought the damn thing (they have them for scooters now), I applaud you for doing it first.

When my wife and I started dating, I sold my last bike. That was about 12 years ago. 2 years ago I started getting the itch again. She told me whatever I wanted to do was fine with her, but she did require me to get life insurance (fair enough). Marriage is about compromise, so if she felt that strongly about me not getting one, I wasn't going to argue.

My story had a happy ending - I bought my FZ6 in May of last year.

 

[agf]

sold my dirt bike when I married my 1st wife to by a lounge suite, after the divorce, I started dating a woman who loved the pub, live music, travel and when we went t thailand was keen to sit on the back of a 125 step through and get about.
Subsequently we got married and she gave me my learners course and test for my 48th b'day a year or so after that coz she'e inventive with pressies and she knows I loved riding again.
she knew I would get a bike eventually, that was a honda vtr250. But she was a little perplexed when I shelled out for the new fz6 last year, I sort of didnt tell her how much I spent for about 6 mnths, but we are sweet now, apart from her wanting me to ride the pushy more( like thats gonna happen)

 

[McLovin]

life is too short, she'll get over it and maybe even learn to like it... she won't tell you this but she'll think you are sexier too :BLAA:

get in full gear and surprise her ..

 

[CanadianFZ6]

Just because you're married doesn't mean you're owned... Do what makes you happy, if she is a smart woman who really cares about you, she'll want you to be happy more than she wants to quell her fears.... Remind her... for every biker that comes into the trauma centre, there were probably 20+ car crash, construction, sports, mountain climber, bathtub...etc, etc victims right there with him....

 

[Popeye70]

I had a tiny Yamaha 50 QT from '86 to '88, and had no big bike experience until I decided that I wanted a bike three years ago. I had been with my girlfriend for two years back then. I took a theory class and driving lessons (both are required in Norway), and passed my final test and got my permit two days after she told me she was expecting our second child.

The excuse for getting a bike was that it would be very practical for dropping the first born off at kindergarten and then ride to work. It would save time (lane splitting and filtering), and I would save 4 US$ in toll road payments every day. That was the official explanation, even though I knew in the back of my mind that I would never deliver a 4 year old girl in kindergarten on a bike...

The second child kinda left the "dropping of at kindergarten" point dead on the ground, but I bought a bike as soon as the permit was in my pocket. She was reluctant for economical reasons, but I told her that if I just started to write down and get paid for all the extra overtime I worked the bike would be "self financing" without impacting our financial situation. What I do is I take the two girls to their kindergartens in the car, return home and then ride the bike to work every now and then.

I hardly ever get the time to ride, but the bike sits proudly in front of the house all summer, and it puts a big smile on my face every time I look at it. I don't even have to ride it for it to make me happy. :thumbup: During the entire 2011 season I put just over 500 kms on the meter. I really have to learn to prioritize differently... :spank:

 

[texcollect]

My story is completely the other way round. I was told by my parents "If we ever catch you on a bike we'll break your legs !!". So they paid for my car driving lessons in an attempt to keep me off bikes. It worked.

Turn the clock forward 20 years and my wife and I talked about doing the MSF class together. Then came along the kids and somehow we never got round to it.

So about another 10 years later a friend and I were talking about bikes and my wife piped up and suggested that we go ahead and do it. So for my 47th birthday I got a gift certificate for an MSF class and rougly 2 months later was the proud, legal driver, owner of a 2009 FZ6. 11,000 miles later my buddy and I RTE (Ride To Eat) 2 or 3 times a month and are enjoying the Texas scenery.

OH and as for my mother. I managed to keep it from her for just over a year (she lives in Scotland and I live in Texas) until we were home visiting and my 8 year old son mentioned "daddy's motorbike". Needless to say she went ballistic, but eventually calmed down when I explained what ATGATT meant.

When I was 16 I actually performed 3 solo glider (sailplane) flights and was interested in qualifying for my PPL, but finances never allowed it. My wife has now suggested that I may want to take that up again. I guess she reckons that if riding my bike won't kill me maybe a flying a plane might !!

 

[greg]

explain how you are doing the msf to be as safe as possible, try and get any other training, also make sure you wear all the gear all the time. It'll help you and give her peace of mind

 

[Nelly]

Just curious to know how many of you (if any) started riding after getting married.

My wife just about had a fit when I told her I signed up for the MSF course run by the local community college. I rationalized it for her by saying that this is more or less an experiment to see if I like riding, while taking a rider safety course that will give me some good skills if/when I do happen to like it.

While she has largely gotten over the initial shock, she's still not wild about the idea. Part of the problem is that she worked for several years as a trauma nurse at one of the local hospitals...so she has seen the worst of the worst (who make it to the hospital alive, at least).

I have a clean driving record. The only accident I have ever been in was in the winter with ice on the ground, and it was only a minor fender bender at that. I haven't gotten a speeding ticket in years and I tend to drive fairly defensively--when I get cut off I drop back to give space, I always check the mirror when stopping hard so I can make adjustments if the person behind isn't paying attention.

Anyway, I'm looking for stories about any of you who needed to do some convincing of the spouse before getting the a-ok to ride.

Welcome and good luck with that one.
My wife brought me my FZ6 so I can't complain. Tell your wife its your midlife crisis, its the bike or another woman lol.
I am a Trauma Nurse and get heaps of stick from my colleagues about riding a "Mobile organ donation clinic" (there words not mine).
Nelly

 

[Xavias]

My story is a little different. Granted, I'm only 21 and not married..

My dad grew up with bikes, but with us kids being kids, he sold his long before I was born. He finally bought one again 2 or 3 years ago. A 95 Kawasaki Vulcan 750. Took me for my first motorcycle ride! (I was single at the time)

We signed up for the MSF course for the following march which myself, my dad (though he already had the CY endorsement), and my mom participated in.

I had bought an 83 nighthawk to use with my permit and was riding the heck out of it! In august I met my current girlfriend. A quirky, funny girl who (most importantly) loved video games and motorcycles!

So I didn't have much trouble, though she's very dutch and when I said I'm going to spend $4k on my FZ6 this weekend, she definitely gawked at it. But we aren't married so my finances are my finances. (And it's not like I don't have the money!)

I'm just hoping we'll get lots of riding on it together in before she fixes up her old 1972 Yamaha Enduro 175!

 

[peteehoward]

I took the training course after i got married. My wife was not to happy when i talked to her about it. I talked her into taking the course with me just so she could be a part of it and see how it isn't a death trap. After she took the course she felt better about me driving. It did not make her want to have her own bike but did make her more conformable with me driving and also with her being a passenger. I would absolutely take her with you to the class. I also set up limits when i started driving. some of which included not driving on the interstate until i had a certain amount of mile underneath my belt, not driving in the rain, and wearing lighter clothes so that i would be more visible.

 

[motojoe122]

You know, I get a lot of men who take the MSF Class after they have gotten a divorce. Seems like the marriage thing has kept them from riding, and one of the first things once they become single is to take a b line straight for this class. LOL...

+1 on THAT:thumbup:

 

[Nelly]

Just because you're married doesn't mean you're owned... Do what makes you happy, if she is a smart woman who really cares about you, she'll want you to be happy more than she wants to quell her fears.... Remind her... for every biker that comes into the trauma centre, there were probably 20+ car crash, construction, sports, mountain climber, bathtub...etc, etc victims right there with him....

This is the basis of my argument with my colleagues.

Nelly

 

[Wolfman]

Whatever you do....dont crash!

 

[adberns]

My wife didn't stop me from getting a bike, but admits for the first year she was worried the entire time I would be out on a ride. Now it doesn't even cross her mind (4 years riding). In fact, she enjoys riding with me.

What do I do (and did) to help ease her mind? I took the MSF class first and foremost, as you did. I choose when to ride - I don't *have* to take the bike to work, I don't *have* to ride to X, Y, or Z, and so if it's raining, I'm tired, deer are in rut, etc., I leave the bike at home. She appreciates this awareness. I also don't ride at night per her request concerning deer. I have slipped a few times and been out after dark. It is so much fun, but each time I've had to quick stop to avoid deer. I guess she's right

The final thing I do is take my safety in traffic seriously. This means ATGATT. It means going out of my way to learn about dangerous traffic situations and how to avoid them (Proficient Motorcycling book is a good place to start - I also have several academic books on traffic safety that actually have been quite helpful). I comment on things I do for traffic safety to her all the time. Anything you can do to show you care and are being careful.

I'm not the world's greatest rider by any means. I'd describe myself average at best. My wife knows this. I think they more appreciate you taking care of yourself than they do you demonstrating mad riding skills (which I don't have ).

I cannot, however, convince my wife that its OK for me to do wheelies in the yard on my recently-acquired dirt bike...