I am so fing pissed right now

[Scorphonic]

Hey Steve,
Lots of good advice here -- especially a ten count before speaking with anyone in an "official" position. I would guess that your post here is about the same as a ten count. :thumbup:

I'd revert to the home visitation. Once Trin sees how little mom cares -- not showing up or showing up and only staying a short time -- she'll start to see her in a different light. And she'll come to appreciate you all the more.

And, as has been mentioned, you might try talking to her about what was going on in the hotel room. And if she's fidgety, you might then see about getting her to talk to a professional -- she may have been exposed to things she should not have been. And that, I'm sure you would agree, would be a bad thing.

Your feelings for her are quite obviously very strong, and your commitment to the work of being a good guardian is really commendable.

The universe is a funny, messed up place: we don't get choose the family into which we're born. But in the face of such madness, that little girl is fortunate to have someone who's caring enough to try and build something better for her.

Out of all the fantastic suggestions people have given...this has got to be the advice to follow...its gentle and wont scare the life out of your child.

You're obviously a fantastic father, do anything you believe is correct, look after #1 first and then worry about yourself.

 

[notjohndavid]

All I can say is WTF are people thinking when they do $##t like this?!?!

Wait....


...they're not

 

[The Toecutter]

sounds like you should just stop the visitation, or revert back to in your home visitation, I know you say that she only sticks around for a couple of hours for the in home visits, but by the sounds of it that is all she stick around this time for. and then Trin was in much worse company.

I totally agree with reiobard.sounds to me like she's only spending a couple of hours with her then dumpin her off on someone else.so the visit's at your house would be much better even if there arent very many,and short.

 

[wrightme43]

Ok I went this evening after calming down and talked to my sister. She is upset about it too. She promised me that Trinity would not go anywhere with anyone other than her again. If she can not watch her for whatever reason she will bring her to me at home or at work. I explained what I thought was going on, asked her if she know of any other reasons why they would go and she couldnt think of any either.

I really want Trins mom to be a part of her life. I talked to her about priority and what is really important in life. Wether she heard me or just nodded in the right places I just dont know.

Social services says I cant do anything. I talked to Trin and she says she didnt see anything, but I know Samantha tells her to lie. The last time they brought her home very late she told me they got her taxes back and went to the mall and played at chucky cheeses. I just looked at Trin and she started smiling that goofy I am trying to B.S. you smile. I said the mall closed at 6 pm on sunday. Still never got where they were really at out of Trin. I dont think she knew.

Basicly if Jenny keeps her and watches her fine. If she gives her to Samantha or anyone else I am going to stop visitation except at my home and take Jenny to court for 250 a month in child support to cover day care. I get 10$ a week now and 5$ a week in back support for the last 4 years. Most of the time anyway.

Thats where its at today.

I will know more this sunday.

Thank you all for your responses.
The GPS locater is a freaking awesome idea. I will need to hook up on one of those for sure.

 

[lonesoldier84]

wow, just saw this thread.

man, cut those people loose. honestly i grew up in a split home and it is not THAT bad the kid doesnt suffer all that much. a balanced and secure life is WAY more important than anything else.

cut em loose. those people are animals. god damn.

 

[jniedermeyer]

My 5 y.o.son and I are caught in a bitter divorce right now. up until kindergarten started in september, Joshua was with me 75% of the time. but all of a sudden after i enrolled him in the school in my district, about a week before school started she enrolled him in her district behind my back. then a week after that i get a petition for child support. $810 a month! she only sees Joshua for about an hour a day because he goes to daycare at 6am then the school bus picks him up from there. then after school its back to daycare till 630! then hes in bed by 8. i always called between 7 and 8 to say goodnight and my ex would get mad. he stays with me from friday till sunday night. as of now i am being very patient but will be filing for custody since there is no custody order as of now. she is an unfit mother. long story short, caught her many times cheating on me when we were together but let it go for our son but eventually i couldnt stomach it anymore. so i knew it was time to end it when i caught her with a guy and she said that i was seeing things and i need help. i know she loves cocaine, x, and vodka. she has a boyfriend, second since we divorced and this one was a friend of hers when we were married. who i know for a fact hits her because her male cousin told me about it. he aproached me one day and said "shes a child, you can do much better. she called me to break up a fight between her and boyfriend." and thats coming from her family. i know her family supports her cause they have to. i can see it in their eyes but i dont blame them for keeping the mouths shut. but things have gone way too far the way she treats me like her baby sitter and not her sons father. shes always changing the rules and making it difficult for me to talk or see joshua. my father says to me she likes to play "head games" with me. everyone around me wonders why i have been treated so badly by the court systerm and the only thing i came up with is male discrimination. my layer says i cant do anything about the fact that she is getting 50% of my take home pay and she doesnt even have to show reciepts. ill make about $15,000 after taxes this year after support. she makes more than i do so with support shell bring in about $47,000 this year. she has mentioned something to joshua about moving in with her boyfriend the 2 of them. i try not to get overly emotional when we talk about his mother because i dont want him to dislike her. i want to protect him from all dangers and right now its his own mother. brings tears to my eyes. i need court, costs, lawers fees but i just cant pull it off with my pay being garnished 50%. oy ya, forgot to mention i work in a local dairy and things arent looking good so i might be out of work soon. company lost $200,000 last year. we need to upgrade facilities and equipment just to meet regulations and with the losses well have to close up. my advice to you is keep your mind on that kid when youre feeling blue. that always keeps me motivated and positive.

 

[Nelly]

My 5 y.o.son and I are caught in a bitter divorce right now. up until kindergarten started in september, Joshua was with me 75% of the time. but all of a sudden after i enrolled him in the school in my district, about a week before school started she enrolled him in her district behind my back. then a week after that i get a petition for child support. $810 a month! she only sees Joshua for about an hour a day because he goes to daycare at 6am then the school bus picks him up from there. then after school its back to daycare till 630! then hes in bed by 8. i always called between 7 and 8 to say goodnight and my ex would get mad. he stays with me from friday till sunday night. as of now i am being very patient but will be filing for custody since there is no custody order as of now. she is an unfit mother. long story short, caught her many times cheating on me when we were together but let it go for our son but eventually i couldnt stomach it anymore. so i knew it was time to end it when i caught her with a guy and she said that i was seeing things and i need help. i know she loves cocaine, x, and vodka. she has a boyfriend, second since we divorced and this one was a friend of hers when we were married. who i know for a fact hits her because her male cousin told me about it. he aproached me one day and said "shes a child, you can do much better. she called me to break up a fight between her and boyfriend." and thats coming from her family. i know her family supports her cause they have to. i can see it in their eyes but i dont blame them for keeping the mouths shut. but things have gone way too far the way she treats me like her baby sitter and not her sons father. shes always changing the rules and making it difficult for me to talk or see joshua. my father says to me she likes to play "head games" with me. everyone around me wonders why i have been treated so badly by the court systerm and the only thing i came up with is male discrimination. my layer says i cant do anything about the fact that she is getting 50% of my take home pay and she doesnt even have to show reciepts. ill make about $15,000 after taxes this year after support. she makes more than i do so with support shell bring in about $47,000 this year. she has mentioned something to joshua about moving in with her boyfriend the 2 of them. i try not to get overly emotional when we talk about his mother because i dont want him to dislike her. i want to protect him from all dangers and right now its his own mother. brings tears to my eyes. i need court, costs, lawers fees but i just cant pull it off with my pay being garnished 50%. oy ya, forgot to mention i work in a local dairy and things arent looking good so i might be out of work soon. company lost $200,000 last year. we need to upgrade facilities and equipment just to meet regulations and with the losses well have to close up. my advice to you is keep your mind on that kid when youre feeling blue. that always keeps me motivated and positive.

Good luck with it mate, I hope you get a resolution soon.

Nelly

 

[wrightme43]

Damn man. I will keep you in my prayers. I am very very very lucky that the court cases have went my way every time. I hope it works out well for you and your son man.

I have always been very careful not to have children because (please ladies PLEASE do not take offense I do not mean LADIES) a lot of women are evil horrible people who do evil horrible things and get away with it over and over and over. So are alot of men. I keep very carefull mental track of the women I date period, and when they are fertile. I dont like that I have to do that but I have had a few try the I'm pregnant jig, and a few others try to get pregnant knowing they have no serious intention of being a permanent part of my life, only to use me for income. I know there are scumball men who will get women pregnant and leave them and abandon thier children too. There are women who will cheat and use another man to raise thier child.

I dont understand it but its the way it is. Its a bunch of crap.

 

[jniedermeyer]

there was so much more nagative crap that happened it would probobly take up a couple pages here but i figured id spare all you nice people. wouldnt want you to have any nightmares.

 

[lonesoldier84]

jeez what a messed up system. it rly is unfair to stack the odds against the fathers.

 

[The Toecutter]

there was so much more nagative crap that happened it would probobly take up a couple pages here but i figured id spare all you nice people. wouldnt want you to have any nightmares.

Just keep your head up and keep doing the right thing.it will get better.God wont put more on you than you can handle.you will come out the other end of this a better man all around.

 

[ant_mb]

Damn, I feel really lucky to be in the position i'm in now. I have a ex-wife that would never talk bad about me to the kids(and I the same), and a almost new one that does the same. I can't imagine being in the position your in. I would probable freak out on the bitch and wind up going to jail, or worse!

 

[Smittyboy]

I am just gonna keep wrapping til I been married 3 years or so... Then maybe go freestyle... This is SICK!!! I'm sorry to hear about all the problems with guys and their kids... While we've been on the "I'm pregnant" kick... I had a girl cheat, convince me it was mine, try to get me to marry her, and I was about to until her friends told me about it... This was my junior year high school... Don't get me wrong, I love girls... but you all can be EVIL!!! And I dated her for two years prior, so don't think I'm a whore...

 

[ant_mb]

I am just gonna keep wrapping til I been married 3 years or so... Then maybe go freestyle... This is SICK!!! I'm sorry to hear about all the problems with guys and their kids... While we've been on the "I'm pregnant" kick... I had a girl cheat, convince me it was mine, try to get me to marry her, and I was about to until her friends told me about it... This was my junior year high school... Don't get me wrong, I love girls... but you all can be EVIL!!! And I dated her for two years prior, so don't think I'm a whore...

Man it really really sucks when women try that move. Fortunately for me my son is a spitting image!

 

[wrightme43]

LOL Anthony yep he sure is.

 

[Smittyboy]

The worst part was when I found out from her friends I told her I wasn't going to marry her... A week later at most she had it aborted... Not my child, but still someone's kid...