Happy Birthday Chuck Norris

[Nelly]

Chuck is 70 today,
Please post your favourite "Chuck isms"

"Chuck Norris doesn't believe in the Periodic table".........

"The only element Chuck believes in is the element of surprise".

Happy Birthday Chuck

Nelly

 

[reiobard]

We don't celebrate another year that Chuck has been alive, we celebrate another year that he allows all of us to be alive!

Happy birthday Chuck!

 

[reiobard]

One day while driving cross country Chuck Norris spat out the window and hit a semi in the next lane over. From that day forward we knew that truck as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris is so tough that when his daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.

One day Chuck Norris and Mr.T went to a bar to catch up on old times, the bar immediately imploded because that much awesomeness cannot be contained within one building.

 

[scottsst]

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky

 

[BH322893]

Chuck has had his cake and eaten it, and now he wants yours.

Chuck Norris is considered a prime number in certain schools in Ontario

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris Pajamas

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHUCK!!!!!

 

[Nelly]

We don'r celebrate another year that Chuck has been alive, we celebrate another year that he allows all of us to be alive!

Happy birthday Chuck!

Quality...............

 

[Jb40k]

C-c-c-combo Breaker!

They say that the boogeyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris before he goes to sleep. Well, Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Solid motherf****n' Snake!

:ban:

 

[Norbert]

Happy 1021st Birthday Chuck!

 

[Nelly]

These are brilliant guys, I am laughing like a giddy girl lol.

"There is no theory of evolution".

"We thank God, that Chuck has allowed a few species to live".

Nelly

 

[BranNwebster]

Chuck Norris would be 70 today if time wasn't afraid of him

 

[CHEMIKER]

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep - he waits.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

Happy Birthday Chuck!

 

[Gilo-FZ6]

When Chuck norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up; he’s pushing the Earth down.

When Chuck Norris goes swimming he doesn’t get wet, the water gets Chuck Norrised.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.

Chuck Norris invented every colour. Except pink. Tom Cruse invented pink.

Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; No-one fools Chuck Norris.

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

When Chuck Norris exercises, the machine gets stronger.

Chuck Norris doesn’t use pickup lines, he simply says, “Now”.

ChuckNorris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled Martial arts abillity. Shortly after the transaction was finalised, Chuck round-house kicked the devil and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Happy b-day chuck :cheer:

 

[FLuK28]

Chuck Norris wears ribbed condoms inside out so he gets the pleasure.

Chuck Norris doesn't cut his grass he stands in his yard and dares it to grow.

 

[westgoingzax]

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Church Norris has more money than you!

This thread is hilarious!

 

[Zebratounge]

Chuck Norris once ate a Rubiks Cube, and pooped it out solved


Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

 

[Nelly]

Chuck Norris would be 70 today if time wasn't afraid of him

Excellent one.................

Nelly

 

[Zebratounge]

Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris doesn’t need to swallow when eating food.

 

[Nelly]

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

I loved this one thanks.

Nelly

 

[Wolfman]

LMFAO! Awesome thread.....

:rockon:

 

[sublime0713]

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.