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~~Daily Feed, post what made you laugh today ~~

If they develop a way to color-print an epitaph onto a headstone by the time I leave this place, this'll be it:

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:thumbup:
 
K Mart is at it again....first they had the "ship my pants" now this:

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmcCWNGz-Ns]"Big Gas Savings" - Kmart's New Commercial - YouTube[/ame]

kudos to their advertising agency :thumbup:
 
We are in trouble...


The population of this country is 300 million.

160 million are retired. That leaves 140 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school. Which leaves 55 million to do the work.

Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government. Leaving 20 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces out of the country. Which leaves 17.2 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 15.8 million people who work for state and city Governments. That leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals. Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me!

And there you are, Sitting on your @ss, At your computer, reading jokes....


Nice. Real nice.
 
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Warning there are a few profanities within this video....:spank:

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVZUJfeK9sI]Very Deep Water Crossing - YouTube[/ame]

Well worth a watch (how come he did not get water in the carb???)
 
sniff6 said:
Warning there are a few profanities within this video....:spank:

Very Deep Water Crossing - YouTube

Well worth a watch (how come he did not get water in the carb???)
Click to expand...

^^^
Craigslist....

Good clean bike, washed it recently. For sale, make offer!

Gotta wonder how it didn't take a big gulp and stall him in the deep! I'd guess he'll pay for that maneuver later on...
 
Someone post this in the "How TO" thread..... :rof::rof::rof:

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2EfBPgwi8E]Top 10 Bike Fails Loading Unloading - YouTube[/ame]
 
A recent Scottish immigrant to the U.S. attended his first baseball game. After a base hit, he heard the fans roaring, "Run...run!"

The next batter connected heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stood up and roared with the crowd in his thick accent, "R-r-r-un yah bahstard. R-r-run!"

A third batter slammed a hit and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screamed, "R-r-r-un ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya."

The next batter's count went to three and two. As the next pitch went outside the plate, he held his swing. The umpire called a walk and the Scotsman stood up yelling, "R-r-r-un ya bahstard, r-r-run!"
All the surrounding fans giggled quietly and he sat down, confused. A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment, whispered, "He didn't have to run, he's got four balls."

After this explanation the Scotsman stood up in disbelief and screamed, "Walk PRRROUD, man! Walk proud!"
 
I may, or may not, have been slightly late to a meeting this morning. Definitely not due to any lack of speed on the bike's part. :D

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Not everyone will appreciate this one, however as nurses we were taught how to judge a persons gastrointestinal health by looking at their poo.
A chart was used called the Bristol stool chart.
rated 1-7, 1= constipation 7 = Diarrhoea on that note ladies and gents I give you the Bristol stool tart......
 
Nelly said:
Not everyone will appreciate this one, however as nurses we were taught how to judge a persons gastrointestinal health by looking at their poo.
A chart was used called the Bristol stool chart.
rated 1-7, 1= constipation 7 = Diarrhoea on that note ladies and gents I give you the Bristol stool tart......
Click to expand...

How could everyone not appreciate a sophisticated poop joke? :thumbup:
 
Nelly said:
Not everyone will appreciate this one, however as nurses we were taught how to judge a persons gastrointestinal health by looking at their poo.
A chart was used called the Bristol stool chart.
rated 1-7, 1= constipation 7 = Diarrhoea on that note ladies and gents I give you the Bristol stool tart......
Click to expand...

Reminds me of my days in the Peace Corps - We used this method too! They really only had to show us levels 6 and 7 there though, something about giardia and amoebas that liquifies you bowels.

We added another level to the chart though - Level 10 meant that you (as k-mart would say) shipped your pants. It was usually followed by a text to your friends stating your achievement of level 10. Thinking back, we were a little weird in the PC.
 
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