Alone after 24 years :(

[PhotoAl]

Prayers and best wishes to you. Hang in there, the only one you can control is yourself - don't allow her to break you or cause you to make a quick/impulsive/bad decision.

Read a book last year "Getting to Yes" about negotiating, really helped me to see how I would let negotiations get personal and I would respond personally. I saw how to focus on what I was trying to accomplish and not the person. Remember the kids and sometimes what we do doesn't show for many years. Time will heal the wounds.

Get your riding buddies together and take the FZ6 out for some nice summer rides.

Pulling for you and your family!

 

[lytehouse]

I'm sorry :hug:

we're all here if ya need us.......

 

[Gelvatron]

Its not called whining, it is sharing what is on your heart. Takes courage to do that. Sometimes one door closes and another one opens up. Hope things start looking more positive to you soon. 24 years is a long time and will take a while to work through, emotionally. Never stop believing in yourself and the positive effect on the lives you impact around you.

Can't say much more stay strong do what makes you happy

 

[Lefty]

Hang in there brother. The exact same thing happened to me 27 years ago, my ex wife told me she loved me but wasn't "in love" with me. Out daughters were 3 and 8 at he time and I moved out of our house at Christmas time to make the breakup "easier" for my ex. I was devastated as I had always been faithful to my ex as well and a good father to my daughters.
As the good Lord would have it, I met my soul mate within a year of our breakup and we have been happily married for almost 25 years.

The most important thing right now is to realize that you are good person and to keep the best relationship you can with your children. Things will get better no matter how dark they look now. :thumbup:

 

[callmegandhi]

Wow! I wish I had the words to console you. Just get on your bike and ride when you're feeling your worst. Always helps me to forget for a while.

 

[edfz6]

Oh man..I so feel your pain..she left with my twins when they were 3.... we were married for 14 and same deal.."fell out of love"...she got engaged a month after the papers were signed... needless to say I was livid, felt alone and mad at the world. I fell deep and what kept me going were my kids. Hang tight as they will be relying on you to be stronger than them because they are the ones more affected by this. Remember, from this day forward, it will be you and the kids....no one else matters!

You might not know it at this time but there's a lot of people that will be there for you. Some of them will wait to be approached thinking you need space and time. Others will come as soon as they find out. Either way they are there to support you as we do here in this forum.
One thing I know for sure is that talking about it helps and here is a great place to start....

My twins are now 10 and I have since remarried, have a 2 year old boy and another one on the way! For me, life has changed for the better..
I certainly hope yours will as well sometime in the future.

Hang in there! Time will heal all wounds and PLEASE accept any offering of support as this will help you....a lot....

Sent from my Nexus 7

 

[Downs]

This ****'ll buff out even though it doesn't feel like it will right now. I was in the divorcee position. About a year after the divorce it came out exactly what kind of person she was and the disgusting **** she had done while we were married and I was kicking myself in the ass for feeling like crap when the divorce first went down cause that useless waste of skin left me.

I have some very different views on marriage now and will probably never wear a wedding bad again in my lifetime.

Remember it gets better and just think of all the stuff you will be free to do now that you don't have to ask someone permission (essentially) to do it. I was never as happy as I am now when I was married and I loved that woman with everything I had when we were married.

 

[AidanM]

I am truly sorry to hear that... My heart and prayers go out to you and your family. Stay strong in your faith and love your family.
I am 17 and my parents who were married 25 years divorced last year.
Coming from the perspective of the kid I could say that it is important for you to still respect the kid's mother even if it means not saying anything at all when they are around. It may not seem like it, but this really can be an opportunity to show your kids what a real Father can be despite the hard times, and if you come through for your kids it could make up for lots of missed lessons in their pre-teen years. Your dedication that you show now will mean more than ever.
Take care, and never let your pride trip you up.
God bless.

 

[turbid]

everytime i hear such things my heart breaks. all i can say is to be strong in this hard time and don t be ruled by emotions. its not so great of an advice i know as i m no good in these sort of things. Hope u ll be a happier man after this ordeal passes

 

[lonesoldier84]

It matters more how you carry yourself than what happens to you. A countless many people suffer all manner of evils in the world of varying degrees. But to each individual person, their struggles are their own and indeed VERY difficult.

I know very little about you, but what I can gather you seem to be exactly the sort of person who should not feel overly upset. Of course it hurts for now and it would be terribly unhealthy if it didn't hurt.

But, for lack of a less cheesy analogy, you are the hero your family needs, not the hero it deserves. Your wife feels she "deserves" something else? That's a delusion you can't really remedy. So for the good of your family, you have chosen to be that dark knight and shoulder the pain, for their good. You seem to have done it already and are continuing to do it. They are healthier because of the way you have chosen to resolve this matter. For that, you should feel an immense sense of solemn pride.

But it's not all bad, while you may have to ride out into the darkness on your own for now, you do so with great honour and prestige.






And, there are.....perks.

Oh, apologies, just saw your username again.

*ahem* I'll just leave this right here.

:thumbup:

 

[aussiejules]

Best wish's go out to you, as has been said no one here knows what your life was like, or how your wifes life was like. I from experience was so glad to find out my wife no longer loved me after 12years, before we had had children, so there was no else involved but us, but it was still hard to believe. I since have been remarried and even though we both have issues with each other, we are both now happy.
Chin up it is hard, get over it get on with it and start enjoying life again to the fullest with your kids in your life.

 

[Erci]

So sorry, man. As many have stated, time heals all wounds and we're here for you. Wish you all the best!

 

[abraxas]

You got plenty of plenty of good wishes and prayers from me.

There was a thread recently of another guy that lost everything, except his car (i think). Was a very positive thread for someone suddenly out in the cold. It's updated every so often, perhaps one of the guys can recall who it was.

Best comment yet was for the kids ... keeps me going everyday, and even if the wife leaves i still have to be there for them.

peace

 

[Tailgate]

Man asking his divorce attorney:

"Why is a divorce so expensive?!"

Attny: "Because it's worth it!"

I say, don't let wife take you to the cleaners. Get fair resolution (but attny fees may end up gobbling up too much?)

 

[7UPyours]

I don't mean to sound to mean but congrats, seems like you were a straight shooter and took care of things on your end and she comes around with this $hit, you my do not need someone like that in your life, be there for your kids and I know this is a bit early but find yourself someone that will appreciate you for you. I have also been there, divorced after 6 years, remarried and 4 years later I still go home with a smile on my face and love life. So hang in there and we are here for you.

 

[JimStl]

Just want to share some things that have helped me along the way. I heard that just about all couples that are together for a very long time have had a breakup at some point or another, and that, it is how we act during that breakup that makes the difference.

Also, if you think about the things that happen to couples, people can be violent, etc. and still get back together, then you can begin to see that there is hope that this can be mended.

Lastly, I can't imagine how hard it is be broken up with your family after so many years, but I encourage you become aware of where you attention is now.
Don't spend your time and energy on thinking about what you have lost, instead, put your attention on what you are going to do!

If you think about loss and maybe even seeing yourself as a victim, then that is what you are going to have, and project to others. I advise you to instead imagine where you what to go, how you want things to be, that type of thinking will benefit you, and you act on it.

I hope to not come off as insensitive, I know your heart is hurt, and it will for likely a long time to come, but to put your attention on what you can do and what you do have control of is, I believe, the way to go forward.

Very best regards!

 

[Poot]

Hang in there man. You have your kids and your bike to keep your mind busy and aimed in the right direction!

 

[Susan]

I have no advice, but I'm sending those good vibes you wanted. Hang in there, OK?

 

[CanadianFZ6]

I too am alone just recently... I had someone and she also left for apparently greener pastures... I know exactly how you feel... I am 48 and have just about given up hope now of ever finding someone again... The only advice I can give you is one day at a time and try to find meaning in your own life... At least you have your kids, my ex had kids and not being the father, I lost them as well... I lost my whole family... Hang in there...

 

[ChevyFazer]

reading back over the post and some things people have wrote i remembered a song that i listened to quite alot after i broke off my engaugement (long story not worth getting into) but the lyrics pretty much was a replay of the day to day life at that time

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQoWarE7pNY]Tracy Lawrence-Used To The Pain - YouTube[/ame]

lol i also listened to this alot too
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tymWpEU8wpM"]Pantera - This Love (Video) - YouTube[/ame]