Hmmm... let see, I get into work at 9 or 10am. Depends on how much sleep I needed. I check the front of the office to see if they're any donuts and if so, if any are chocolate. If there are no chocolate donuts, I look for ones with sprinkles. Then I go back to my desk and grab a big mug I use for tea. I walk to the restroom and clean the mug out and maybe stop by a few offices of some people I know who also ride to work. Maybe we chat about bikes for a bit or, if they are not in, I just go back to my desk. I then turn on my electric kettle for my tea. Before I sit down, I take my shoes off. I just feel more comfortable without my shoes. I then turn on my dual LCD monitors and browse my RSS feeds for a while. I currently am into slickdeals.net. I also have a few things on craigslist I am watching out for. I read a few technology-related articles, mostly about products I will never buy. I usually listen to streaming radio with my headphones on. I think my coworkers say good morning to me, I don't know. I like using pandora radio or "somaFM Indie pop rocks" to find new music. Around that time, I get the hot water from my kettle and make my tea. I sit back down and enjoy my donut(s). Then, I read a few articles from the washingtonpost.com website and I leave angry comments about local politicians. Mostly about how they are stealing money from honest, hard working people such as myself. I am sure to use an account from bugmenot.com. So I am a new "troll" every day or so. Next, I check my email. I usually get a few nice youtube vids from some friends to go through. When I'm done catching up on the latest youtube vids, I start going through the forums I am a member of. These forums usually lead to even more youtube vids. Around 10:30am we have a morning status meeting. I don't pay attention. Instead, I think of something good to say for when it's my turn. I am pretty good at this. When the meeting is over, I chat on Google chat for a while. And let's not forget Facebook! I have a few people from high school am I curious about.
"view photos of Sarah (300)" ?
Well, I better get started!
Let's see, by this time I'm getting hungry for lunch. So I go out with some work friends to Chick Fil-A or this one Italian place. I like the Italian place because the owners only hire hotties in their 20's, so that tends to brighten my day. But sometimes I look like crap or I need a haircut badly, so I just go to Chick Fil-A. During lunch, which I eat back at my desk, I watch some tv shows that I missed during the week. I use hulu.com or other sites that stream video. Sometimes I have movies to watch where I left off. Many times, if it's a nice day, I take a walk after lunch. It's a good way to relieve stress. Sometimes I walk around to a few of the motorcycle parking spaces and check out the bikes. If it's a really nice day, I get to see some Aprillas and Ducatis.
I go back and read a few more articles or go through some forums, like this one. I am listening to music again. Many times, when I hear a good song, I stop everything I'm doing to find the mp3 version of that song. I am pretty good at this. I can even download whole albums. Occasionally, I may get a work related email. I will spend an hour typing up a 4 sentence reply, listening to music, searching for an mp3 and browsing a forum all at the same time! Somehow I manage to reply to those emails with something intelligent, or not, I don't really know. I guess no one minds. If someone asks me about what I'm doing I'm pretty good at making it look like I'm working on something REALLY hard that will take up A LOT of time. If someone wants to give me more work to do, I make sure I shoot back with giving him more work for himself. For example:
(him) "Hey, I need you to upgrade those servers"
(me) "sure, great idea! let me know what version you want the software to be upgraded to, and be sure to get the blessing of the security department"
Boom, problem solved. No way he's going to get back to me. Sometimes, people email me more work to do. In this case, I just ignore the email. Managers do this ALL THE TIME. It makes them look extremely busy.
"Oh man, I got all this email from this one client who was having problems installing our software, I must have missed your email."
Boom, problem solved. I am looking busy and am looking like a hero at the same time.
So now the problem is: how do I make it look like I did something for the status meeting at 10:30 the next day? Well, I spend maybe 10 minutes googling what I have to do, then I do it. If it doesn't work, well, that can make it to the status meeting! As long as I make it look like a hard problem!
For example, if I need to configure a web server, I just use google for a tutorial, if I get stuck, I can say something like this in the next day's status meeting:
"I tried installing a server certificate, but I got an error. It looks like the version used to create the server cert is incompatible with the version used to read it."
Boom, problem solved!
So after a few hours of more forum browsing, youtub'ing, and listening/downloading music, I go home. Hopefully I ride home on my bike.
I am probably one of the most productive members of my team.
Don't judge me.
