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The lighter side of being stuck in Iraq

jazzpaintball

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I have been through mortars, 10,000 pound IED's, gunfire, RPG's, and some stupid decisions. But I just have to say that there are times that can make you laugh.

On a convoy a while back, we had a donkey problem. Just to let most people know, Iraq is FULL of donkeys. They just wander around, on hiways, in broken down buildings, and even on top of homes (yes, I have the pictures to prove that one). With this many donkeys, some convoys can be "interrupted."

One such incident was when we came across a small group of donkeys in the middle of the road. roughly 10 of them just in the middle of the main highway not caring about anything. Coming up to them, we had to stop. Revving our diesel engines got one to move, the horn got another 5 to move and slowly pushing them with the truck move another few. But one remained, resistant against us, proving its heritage as an A$$.

We finally had to get out and move the donkey manually (if pushing it with a truck wasn't manual to begin with). With the gunner on 'overwatch', one of us got out to move the donkey. With all the pushing, pulling, calls, yells, and a few kicks, the donkey still did not move.

Patience is a virtue, but not a virtue that our driver had. He got out of the vehicle and tried himself, with no avail. Finally, getting mad enough, he proceeded to climb back into the truck, and into his personal bag of extra gear. He pulls out a pair of protective gloves that have a kevlar/carbon fiber mix protective knuckle layer, and only puts one on: his right hand.

He now faces the donkey, and with all of his might, give the donkey a punch right in between its eyes while simultaneously yelling/screaming "FALCON PUNCH!!!!"

The donkey lets out an "EEYAAWWWW" cry and immediately turns and runs away, and at the same time, delivers a kick with both rear hooves to the driver's chest. Thank God for Bullet-proof plates that can also protect you from donkeys.

Climbing back into the truck, winded from the line drive kick to the chest, pants over the radio "And..... that.... is how.......you......get rid.....of..... a......Iraqi.....Donkey...."


Just something I thought you guys would enjoy. Let me know if you want to hear about any other shenanigans (for better and worse) that i have witnessed.
 
For better or worse, we would love to hear about it.

I laughed my ass off when I read this.

Stay safe!
 
That's too funny.

I have heard about donkeys being a problem in parts of Africa. Apparently, they like to sleep on the blacktop after it's been warmed by the sun all day. They'll just plop down and snooze away. Then, unsuspecting drivers come along at night at hit them. Nasty business.

FALCON PUNCH! bwaaaa haaa
 
Yep, that was a very fun story to read. Thanks for sharing. When he went to put the glove on, I thought he was going to do something else. I guess, either one would have worked. Hope we don't have an Animal Activist among us... :rof:

Thanks for your service in the military. I hope you and everyone come home soon... :)
 
like this:




[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_RKPGS2vwM&feature=PlayList&p=0ED19589617E70DE&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=16]YouTube - Blazing Saddles Mongo parks in the red zone[/ame]
 
Lytehouse, that's exactly the clip that came to mind!

Great story, Jazz! :thumbup:
 
When I read "pulled out a glove" I thought something else was going to go down.
But you don't want to be behind the donkey anyway
 
Very funny :thumbup:

On a side note ,the donkey's must be the only thing in Iraq that don't blow up !

actually they do. We have had a couple instances where a cart a donkey was hooked up to was filled with explosives, a dead donkey on the side of the road was filled up with explosives, and even one that had about 30 sticks of dynamite up its rear (needless to say that one blew up successfully without knowledge of that one even being a giant IED)
 
actually they do. We have had a couple instances where a cart a donkey was hooked up to was filled with explosives, a dead donkey on the side of the road was filled up with explosives, and even one that had about 30 sticks of dynamite up its rear (needless to say that one blew up successfully without knowledge of that one even being a giant IED)

Bloody hell mate,I was only joking !

Sorry , I will shut up now .
 
Bloody hell mate,I was only joking !

Sorry , I will shut up now .

hey, its all good. The greatest truth over here is that you have to find some humor in what is going on over here or you will go crazy.

The only thing i have to really laugh about is that donkey sex (yes, guys with the donkeys) is common over here due to the fact that there is significantly less women than men over here. and being able to put explosives up an animal that way, you must have "trained" the animal first. I now have to wonder if having sex with donkeys is justified as a training situation, lol:D
 
That story was hillarious. Good thing he had his flak on and sapi's in. He could have gotten hurt pretty bad otherwise.
 
I hit the thanks button not for the story - which was great - but for doing what you do. Thanks. Our prayers are with you guys and gals over there.
 
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