rules of the bbq

[madmanmaigret]

As spring weather improves and barbeque units are rolled out of garages all over North America, this is a good time to review these few simple BBQ Rules, which I received this week in a much-forwarded e-mail.

BBQ RULES When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:
Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - drink in hand.
Here comes the important part:
(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
More routine...
(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another drink while he deals with the situation.
Important again:
(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
More routine...
(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
(10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off.' And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

 

[Raid The Revenge]

This story should've been a parable in the bible.

 

[jsteinb95]

That is all true, except for #4. (well...for me anyways)

 

[thulst]

What if you're a veggie?

 

[Cloggy]

What if you're a veggie?

You skip 1 through 11 :thumbup:

 

[thulst]

It's alway the same. I think I need to start eating meat again........:Sport:
Overhere the temprature next weekend is going to BBQ level also. :thumbup:

 

[Tailgate]

Okay, very funny, but don't forget that bbg'ing is an extremely dangerous operation. Bbq's can KILL! Five lbs of propane is equivalant to high explosives sitting under your grill. If you're Kingsfording it, that can of starter fluid can set the house on fire. Always, and ALWAYS, have a fully and properly charged fire extinguisher rated for gas/electrical fires nearby. Also, not a bad idea to alert nearby fire department of impending 911 call. Keep all children and women at least 100 ft away (you may have to send them to grandma's). Wear proper bbq flame-proof or retardent special gear when bbg'ing. And remember, don't overreact in case of explosion.

 

[Cloggy]

What if you're a veggie?

Sorry Ton just kidding
I heard AH does a mean veggie sausage (so my sister says, she too is a veggie).

I have also made some mean Tofu skewers in the past. Just marinade the tofu overnight in a mixture of soy sauce (Ketjap manis), bit of honey, crushed garlic, olive oil and a teaspoon of chilli paste (Sambal) the real hot stuff

Make up skewers (sate stokjes) with blocks of Tofu, cherry tomatoes, pieces of onion and peppers (Paprika). Brush the skewers with the left over marinade, BBQ and enjoy.

Another variant is to switch the soy sauce for balsamic vinegar and a pinch of salt.

Of course you can bake your potatoes in the embers, and add all sorts of tasty stuff to them.

A veggie hamburger in a bun.

Unfortunately Holland has less vegie stuff than the UK, but it also has less vegatarians (but my direct colleage happens to be one of the few Dutch vegatarians).

Ok I do hope the weather man is right :thumbup:

 

[jsteinb95]

It must suck that you guys haven't bbq'ed in a while. I usually bbq twice a week. The only bad weather we have that I can't bbq, is wind and rain (I think it rained once or twice for the year.)

 

[Cloggy]

It must suck that you guys haven't bbq'ed in a while. I usually bbq twice a week. The only bad weather we have that I can't bbq, is wind and rain (I think it rained once or twice for the year.)

You lucky lucky bas**rd, but then again the grass is always greener, or maybe not

 

[jsteinb95]

You lucky lucky b******, but then again the grass is always greener, or maybe not

I'm hoping you called me a bas**rd and not a b***h. :thumbup: :Flip:

 

[Cloggy]

I'm hoping you called me a bas**rd and not a b***h. :thumbup: :Flip:

Sorry J I edited it for clarity

Whenever I say that I am thinking of the Monty Python life of brian sketch:

"You lucky.... lucky bastard, proper little teachers pet aren't we"

As I know you are a python fan I thought you might appreciate it. Anyway no offence intended :thumbup:

 

[thulst]

Sorry Ton just kidding
I heard AH does a mean veggie sausage (so my sister says, she too is a veggie).

I have also made some mean Tofu skewers in the past. Just marinade the tofu overnight in a mixture of soy sauce (Ketjap manis), bit of honey, crushed garlic, olive oil and a teaspoon of chilli paste (Sambal) the real hot stuff

Make up skewers (sate stokjes) with blocks of Tofu, cherry tomatoes, pieces of onion and peppers (Paprika). Brush the skewers with the left over marinade, BBQ and enjoy.

Another variant is to switch the soy sauce for balsamic vinegar and a pinch of salt.

Of course you can bake your potatoes in the embers, and add all sorts of tasty stuff to them.

A veggie hamburger in a bun.

Unfortunately Holland has less vegie stuff than the UK, but it also has less vegatarians (but my direct colleage happens to be one of the few Dutch vegatarians).

Ok I do hope the weather man is right :thumbup:

Thanks for the recipe Martin.

Ok I used to eat meat and loads of it. I even learned to be a cook. And I really like barbequing a lot. But as being a veggie it’s hard to find stuff in Holland that can be put on a bbq is tasty and still veggie.

The veggie market in Holland is growing fast. But if we really want to have nice meals we end up in the UK, US or Canada. This is fun of course adding a vacation to a meal……:thumbup:

No kidding, enjoy de bbq. I hope there’s a lot of day’s you can bbq. That means we end up with a great summer season. :rockon:

 

[Doorag]

As spring weather improves and barbeque units are rolled out of garages all over North America, this is a good time to review these few simple BBQ Rules, which I received this week in a much-forwarded e-mail.

BBQ RULES When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:
Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - drink in hand.
Here comes the important part:
(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
More routine...
(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another drink while he deals with the situation.
Important again:
(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
More routine...
(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
(10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off.' And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

Indeed. Well said. I'll forward to Mrs. Doorag.

 

[aussiejules]

my girlfriend didnt seem too excited when i read it out aloud to her, damn we bbq ever week i was hopeing i could get her to do it all.

 

[HavBlue]

You folks are leaving out the second most important part to any great BBQ and that's, WHERE"S THE BEER?

 

[reiobard]

I think that the beer was implied in the "Drink in hand" and "asks the wife to bring another drink".


This just goes to show that some women can't be pleased when we make dinner for them.

 

[HavBlue]

I think that the beer was implied in the "Drink in hand" and "asks the wife to bring another drink".


This just goes to show that some women can't be pleased when we make dinner for them.

Ya see, that's what I'm talking about. Ya don't let women buy the beer. Rather, you keep a full pony refer right next to the BBQ so when it's time for another one need not require any unnecessary movement or vocal communication to grab another. Just be sure you chain the refer down and lock it up so as not to loose the refer full of beer when not in use......:thumbup:

 

[madmanmaigret]

Ya see, that's what I'm talking about. Ya don't let women buy the beer. Rather, you keep a full pony refer right next to the BBQ so when it's time for another one need not require any unnecessary movement or vocal communication to grab another. Just be sure you chain the refer down and lock it up so as not to loose the refer full of beer when not in use......:thumbup:

you mean I have to buy a second one????? I figured the best place for it was in the "men's den" (garage)


edit: <in beavis and butthead voice> huh, huh, he said "refer" huh. (sorry I couldnt resist )

 

[HavBlue]

you mean I have to buy a second one????? I figured the best place for it was in the "men's den" (garage)


edit: <in beavis and butthead voice> huh, huh, he said "refer" huh. (sorry I couldnt resist )

Yup, why be limited to one when two can be so interesting. With two you have options.....