damnpoor
Junior Member
Part of an Army cadence:
"The Navy spends all their time on boats doing who knows what to goats.
The Coast Guard spends all their time on boats and probably are the goats."
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Help! my son won't commit to the Coast Guard
- Thread starter boo68
- Start date
Part of an Army cadence:
"The Navy spends all their time on boats doing who knows what to goats.
The Coast Guard spends all their time on boats and probably are the goats."
Raid The Revenge
Super Member
It seems the advice given here has cleared everything I had to say!! Wow!
In case you ALREADY know...you can't change someone unless you change yourself first.
In case you ALREADY know...you can't change someone unless you change yourself first.
cv_rider
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Have him (and you) watch the move The Guardian with Kevin Costner and Ashton Kutcher. About CG rescue swimmers, and about life in the CG in general. After that, YOU may have second thoughts of sending him to the CG. It's equal part glamor and danger. Kind of like riding a motorcycle, hmm....
wayne 3
Junior Member
the most important thing to remember is that it is HIS choice. no one can make it for him. i joined the army after highschool served my 3 years and got out. it was a great chouce for me but i had the right mindset. i wanted to do it. you can show him the benefits but it is his choice. if you join something like that and dont have your heart in it it will break you and leave you worse off. good luck
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I don't know if this will be helpful or not but I want to post because I was there. When I was 19, I took the ASVAB for the Air Force, scored high, and was offered a choice of a couple of really cool jobs. I chickened out because of the no smoking policy in boot camp and I didn't think I could quit smoking.
I was a loser at the time, living at home and working as an auto mechanic but blowing all my money on stupid stuff. Many other things that I don't want to go into also contributed to me being a loser. Suffice it to say when you looked up loser in the dictionary you saw my picture.
My parents must have been pulling their hair out. I had all this potential and an offer of guaranteed training, discipline, and money and turned it down.
A couple of very dark years later I decided that I didn't want to be a mechanic forever and started college at age 21 and that was it, I just decided things were going to change. I turned it around completely. Put myself through school, secured gainful employment, got married and started a family, etc. Here's the kicker, I quit smoking on my own 5 years ago!!!
I'm not saying don't push him to get into the military; it seems like a great kick start for young kids. I'm just saying that if he decides not to go, hope is not lost.
I was a loser at the time, living at home and working as an auto mechanic but blowing all my money on stupid stuff. Many other things that I don't want to go into also contributed to me being a loser. Suffice it to say when you looked up loser in the dictionary you saw my picture.
My parents must have been pulling their hair out. I had all this potential and an offer of guaranteed training, discipline, and money and turned it down.
A couple of very dark years later I decided that I didn't want to be a mechanic forever and started college at age 21 and that was it, I just decided things were going to change. I turned it around completely. Put myself through school, secured gainful employment, got married and started a family, etc. Here's the kicker, I quit smoking on my own 5 years ago!!!
I'm not saying don't push him to get into the military; it seems like a great kick start for young kids. I'm just saying that if he decides not to go, hope is not lost.
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If you push him to do something he doesn't want to do, he won't forgive you for it.
Just because you think the best thing for him is to join, doesn't mean it is. If he's 19 and in the spot he's in, hasn't he been under your guidance up until now? Shouldn't he be doing really well? Sounds like you just need to give him a timeline to move out, cut him off, and let him start making his own decisions. He won't make all the right ones, not by a long shot, but he'll learn. And that's something he could thank you for.
If you can't park in your driveway because you're son has too many vehicles, it's your property and you can tell him they need to get out of there and you don't care if he has to sell them to make them gone. Just give him a timeline and stick to it. He's an adult so expect him to act like one, and just because he's your son don't go easy on him.
Just because you think the best thing for him is to join, doesn't mean it is. If he's 19 and in the spot he's in, hasn't he been under your guidance up until now? Shouldn't he be doing really well? Sounds like you just need to give him a timeline to move out, cut him off, and let him start making his own decisions. He won't make all the right ones, not by a long shot, but he'll learn. And that's something he could thank you for.
If you can't park in your driveway because you're son has too many vehicles, it's your property and you can tell him they need to get out of there and you don't care if he has to sell them to make them gone. Just give him a timeline and stick to it. He's an adult so expect him to act like one, and just because he's your son don't go easy on him.
steveindenmark
Older Member
I think the problem is that at 19 he is afraid of the unknown after he has left home.
I left home to join the military when I was 16 years old. I took myself to the end of the street...no fanfares or parties. I got myself and my gear on the bus and off I went.
It was scarey but I soon got used to it. I travelled the world for 12 years in the military and have been travelling since.
At some stage your son has to step off the diving board and get wet. I never regret doing it.
Let him read these posts, it may help.
Steve
I left home to join the military when I was 16 years old. I took myself to the end of the street...no fanfares or parties. I got myself and my gear on the bus and off I went.
It was scarey but I soon got used to it. I travelled the world for 12 years in the military and have been travelling since.
At some stage your son has to step off the diving board and get wet. I never regret doing it.
Let him read these posts, it may help.
Steve
4fun
Member #1360
Boo, everyone has made good comments on this matter, both for and against pushing him. My son has just turned twenty and we are pushing him through college, and he is finally after his second year beginning to see things different.
Basically what I am saying, you must do what you feel in your heart is right. You have and are lving through this and you need to do what you feel is the right thing to do.
Raising kids is not easy and for those not older enough to have kids this age, cannot realize the weight of the decision that you are trying to make. It's tough, but you will do the right thing.
Good luck.
Basically what I am saying, you must do what you feel in your heart is right. You have and are lving through this and you need to do what you feel is the right thing to do.
Raising kids is not easy and for those not older enough to have kids this age, cannot realize the weight of the decision that you are trying to make. It's tough, but you will do the right thing.
Good luck.
hedmisten
handegraphix.com
Take him to an indoor pool and make him swim laps for a while. When you see how tired he is, you will not wish the CG on him forcefully. CG is one of the toughest physical threats of the military, due to strenuous regiments and ridiculous amounts of swimming. My family has been Coast Guard for a while, and if there is one thing that they all have had in common, it's love of water.
Make sure he doesnt mind water....
Make sure he doesnt mind water....
W
wrightme43
The human body can do amazing things. I dont know how to explain the boost in confidence that knowing I have spent months inside the artic circle underwater gives me when I see something I think is hard.
They cant eat him, they cant take his birthday away. He could be killed or injured severely. That can happen landscaping too. His choice of course. I joined because I wanted to the hell away from my family.
They cant eat him, they cant take his birthday away. He could be killed or injured severely. That can happen landscaping too. His choice of course. I joined because I wanted to the hell away from my family.
Everyone gave great advise and I truly appreciate it. The reason we were pushing for the Coast Guard is his great ability to swim, his love for the water and boats and marine life, and he just isn't college material at this stage of his life. I did find my path, the hard way, with alot of tears and hurt. I do wish my parents gave me a push or some sort of guidance instead of letting me figure it all out on my own, although I did turn out very good. I want better for my son. My husband served in the Army for 5years, then was in the National guard for 8. We live in an area where there are a bunch of laborers that are constantly out of work during the winters, and there is alot of alcohol and drug abuse around. Given that he has worked 2 jobs since he graduated, I know he is a hard worker. We told him that unless he is enrolled in College or the CG he would have to pay us rent (a small amount that includes everything) he hates the idea that we are. We do have a great community college close by, that he said he wanted to enroll in.. but he has already put off this semester.. I expect him to procrastinate next too. I told him a week ago, if you do want to enroll next semester, I want you to apply for Financial Aid to help you pay for it (I don't think he will get it because we make too much money, but our expenses are high) We will see how everything turns out and I will keep you all posted. Thanks again for the great input. :blowkiss:
Deb
Deb
