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~~Daily Feed, post what made you laugh today ~~

Those posts remind me of this some years ago (1990??). Your's truly had been dating new girl for a couple weeks. In her downstairs bathroom I'd run out of TP and reached into the cupboard for a replacement.
- Pretty standard operation you think. Ya, I thought that also!
I finish my business only to find a very STROOOOOOOONG burning sensation in a bad area! WTF??????? To the faucet and other cleaning supplies are needed like LOTS of water!! I'm mostly going to recover BUTT likely shouldn't be walking about much with my @ss on fire!

So I ask the gal (who later became my wife), "did something happen the TP in the cupboard?" Oh - that she replies, "ya, the bleach bottle leaked on them and I let them dry because that's all there was. Why do you ask?"

I recall I said something to the effect of, "you know bleach eats skin and you didn't think to throw it away??????"
"Was there a problem????"

We'll, apparently adding ANY form of moisture to T/P with "dried bleach" DOES re-activate its chemical which depending upon where its used MAY cause burning! :eek:

Lesson learned: when dating blonds - smell your TP before using it! :rof::rof::rof:
 
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Video with lots fail focused on golfers! Worth a watch! Music is a tad bit repetitive tho....
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FMyblJkLSM"]The Ultimate Golf FAIL Compilation - YouTube[/ame]
 
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[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYAFvigSWJY]Motofest - Tigerman at action - YouTube[/ame]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3koj9BvYrU]Tigerman 2 - YouTube[/ame]
 
LITTLE JOHNNY AND FATHER JOSEPH
Little Johnny was on his way back home from the store with a loaf of bread in one hand, and his other hand in his pants pocket.

Off in the distance, Father Joseph sees little Johnny and realizes this is the perfect opportunity to go preach the gospel of the Holy Bible to the young boy.

Father Joseph approaches little Johnny and says, "I see that you have the "Staff of Life" in one hand."

"Yep," replies little Johnny. "And I have a loaf of bread in the other!"

=================

LITTLE JOHNNY: A DROP IN THE BUCKET
One day, Little Johnny's grandmother sent him to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner.

As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and ran back to grandma's house as fast as he could.

"Where's my bucket and my water?" She asked.

"I can't get any water from that water hole, there's a mean ol' alligator down there!"

"Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny. He's been there for years, and he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!"

"Well, Grandma," replied Johnny, "if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!"
 
A Baptist pastor was presenting a children's sermon. During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was. Now, asking questions during children's sermons is crucial, but at the same time, asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous. Having asked the children if they knew the meaning of the resurrection, a little boy raised his hand...

The pastor called on him and the little boy said, "I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor."
It took over ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough for the service to continue.
 
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