Clearly, you don't know the meaning of the world Validity. Which explains why you are wrong.
Rather than going back and forth, both of you have a point. I tend to agree with Neal, and the Merovingian from the Matrix. "Causality, cause and effect. Choice is merely an illusion given to those with without power by those with power. Why is the only source of power, without it you are powerless"
After going through the Family Court system and losing my son I know that it is mostly bull $hit. It seems to be about generating income for attorneys and (judges, they were lawyers once), covering their asses for bad decisions and appeasing thier connections. I was ordered to go to a psychologist for a custody evaluation and another one for a mental health evaluation. The woman custody evaluator had no factual data on me, but instead took everything mother said and spun a story to make me look bad. I found out that this woman would pander to whoever had the lawyer (I was self-represented and my ex was rich) with the biggest law firm. On top of that she had been sued twice and 7 psychology board complaints in the last 2 years. The only reason she still had a license is that during legal work a psychologist receives judicial immunity and can basically do a ****ty job then get away with it. The mental health evaluator even said in his report, there are no objective findings indicating mental health issues, but taking into consideration mothers concerns blah blah blah. I was told that often during custody cases mental health is brought up as a way for the person making the allegations of an issue to get what they want, the judge uses the evaluators because if anything happens he can say there was a professional evaluatioin.
Back to the point, I was told it was my choices that brought about the situation I was in. In reality my choices never harmed anyone, other than my ex's ego when I messed around on her. And when she said that she would take my son away and I would never see him again I said she had no idea how far I would go and hurt her if she did that. She had also threatened to leave the country with him. In my imagination I am seeing some delta force $hit in whatever town her crap family comes from.
So in a way this may sound messed up, but if my son went off on his mother and hurt her, I would only feel bad for the trouble he would be in. She created the situation, she alienated me from him, she chose to change his life in irreparable ways. My father taught me to respect other people and respect life. I would teach my son the same and kick my sons ass if he took it out on anyone else though, those other kids weren't the main cause (since the guy was 20 and it was a grade school).
Ultimately there is no definitive one point solution to an issue like this. The human mind wants a 1 to 1 relationship with everything but it's actually infinite. The media, the parents, the kids at school, the teachers, the neighborhood, the houses, the cars, the food the guy ate, everything along the way shaped that young man's character and created the perfect mixture for the event that took place. Until the world we live in can achieve balance in it's wants to needs and respect for all people this type of thing will keep happening. I'm afraid it will just increase at an alarming rate.
