jazzpaintball
Junior Member
- Joined
- Jan 26, 2009
- Messages
- 439
- Reaction score
- 19
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- Location
- Olympia, Wa (back home now)
Overseas, the temptation of the sexual nature is stronger that usual. Maybe it is from not being with a significant other for a long time. Or perhaps it is a survival instinct of the 'survival of the fittest" and the genes from the male that got the mate surpasses the others. In either case, not many people get very much 'action' in this 'field.'
Sadly, there is an entire market for this sort of 'problem' on the internet. As if it was bought for fun, pleasure, humor, or any other reason, this market thrives today. I have encountered some of these items and they have been put to use in some rather interesting ways.
The blow-up-doll. This creation, intended to be used as such, is (hopefully) more of a novelty item than it's intended use. One of these has been put upon a 10 foot pole and paraded around. Although that was not its only use, i will get back to that one later.
In contrast to the Blow Up Doll is the Blow Up Cow. Yes, a Cow......
One of these was bought for a fellow soldier by his loving wife back in the states. Whether it was to replace her or not, i do not know for he does not show pictures of her.
In either case, he got it out, laughed for about 30 minutes about it, and then decided (with some persuasion from other soldiers) to blow it up. It indeed was a Sex-cow. More importantly, this cow moo'ed. Now, this moo was not an ordinary moo, it was not random nor was it timed. Rather, it was set up to moo when 'something was inserted into the cow.' Laughing about this even more for about 15 minutes, one soldier got the courage to ask to see it first hand.
Taking it, he kissed it (mockingly of course) and then playfully ran to the bathroom with it. Making everyone laugh even harder, we heard a moo come from the bathroom. Then another. we are all rolling with laughter, but something starts to become amiss.... The moo's were becoming more frequent, and after 45 seconds, he has yet to come out with the cow. All you hear is " moo.......................Moo.....................Moo....................Moo.....moo..... moo......moo......moo..moo..moo..mo.moomoo....moomoomoomoomoomoomoo
moomoomoomoo....."
silence can be creepy in this situation....
I have yet to see that cow again......
Donkeys however are the butt of these sex jokes here. After witnessing a donkey-man partner ship at 1:20 AM through a set of Thermal scopes, it has gotten even more joked at.
Now, these donkeys are everywhere. So, one bored soldier (along with some other bored soldiers) decided on a mission that they were going to 'abduct one.'
.... They were successful....
Hiding it in the back of their truck, they got it upon base. Making the joke last, they decided to add a rider to the donkey: the Blow Up Doll.
Duck-taping the blown up doll to the donkey, and writing out a sign "$5 FOR A DONKEY RIDE, $5 FOR A DOLL RIDE, $8 TO RIDE BOTH" that went around its neck, they decided to let it go. getting out of the truck, they see the Col. coming down the road.
In a haste, they slap the donkey to get it to run and they scatter themselves. Although Donkeys dont seem to understand rank struckure very well for it ran strait for the Col. The Col. goes white. Start yelling, and the donkey runs on by over to the church (and yes, this is on a Sunday). With it getting warm out, but being still a cool morning, the doors where left open.
Apparently donkeys dont seem to understand indoors from out doors either. It runs strait into the church, with a blow up doll riding it, and then craps in the middle of the floor.
One thing is for sure: donkeys, blow up dolls, and churches are not a good combination.
Sadly, there is an entire market for this sort of 'problem' on the internet. As if it was bought for fun, pleasure, humor, or any other reason, this market thrives today. I have encountered some of these items and they have been put to use in some rather interesting ways.
The blow-up-doll. This creation, intended to be used as such, is (hopefully) more of a novelty item than it's intended use. One of these has been put upon a 10 foot pole and paraded around. Although that was not its only use, i will get back to that one later.
In contrast to the Blow Up Doll is the Blow Up Cow. Yes, a Cow......
One of these was bought for a fellow soldier by his loving wife back in the states. Whether it was to replace her or not, i do not know for he does not show pictures of her.
In either case, he got it out, laughed for about 30 minutes about it, and then decided (with some persuasion from other soldiers) to blow it up. It indeed was a Sex-cow. More importantly, this cow moo'ed. Now, this moo was not an ordinary moo, it was not random nor was it timed. Rather, it was set up to moo when 'something was inserted into the cow.' Laughing about this even more for about 15 minutes, one soldier got the courage to ask to see it first hand. Taking it, he kissed it (mockingly of course) and then playfully ran to the bathroom with it. Making everyone laugh even harder, we heard a moo come from the bathroom. Then another. we are all rolling with laughter, but something starts to become amiss.... The moo's were becoming more frequent, and after 45 seconds, he has yet to come out with the cow. All you hear is " moo.......................Moo.....................Moo....................Moo.....moo..... moo......moo......moo..moo..moo..mo.moomoo....moomoomoomoomoomoomoo
moomoomoomoo....."
silence can be creepy in this situation....
I have yet to see that cow again......
Donkeys however are the butt of these sex jokes here. After witnessing a donkey-man partner ship at 1:20 AM through a set of Thermal scopes, it has gotten even more joked at.
Now, these donkeys are everywhere. So, one bored soldier (along with some other bored soldiers) decided on a mission that they were going to 'abduct one.'
.... They were successful....
Hiding it in the back of their truck, they got it upon base. Making the joke last, they decided to add a rider to the donkey: the Blow Up Doll.
Duck-taping the blown up doll to the donkey, and writing out a sign "$5 FOR A DONKEY RIDE, $5 FOR A DOLL RIDE, $8 TO RIDE BOTH" that went around its neck, they decided to let it go. getting out of the truck, they see the Col. coming down the road.
In a haste, they slap the donkey to get it to run and they scatter themselves. Although Donkeys dont seem to understand rank struckure very well for it ran strait for the Col. The Col. goes white. Start yelling, and the donkey runs on by over to the church (and yes, this is on a Sunday). With it getting warm out, but being still a cool morning, the doors where left open.
Apparently donkeys dont seem to understand indoors from out doors either. It runs strait into the church, with a blow up doll riding it, and then craps in the middle of the floor.
One thing is for sure: donkeys, blow up dolls, and churches are not a good combination.
