Tabacco: mixed couple workable?

[Tailgate]

Can/does this kind of relationship work? :noworries:One smokes and the other doesn't. Anybody out there in this kind of relationship? :hug:The burden/sacrifice is 100% on the ex or non-smoker, right? I'm wondering if such a relationship is viable. Can the character outweigh the habit? Is this an accurate scenario: either both end up smokers (most likely) or both become non-smokers.

 

[Taku]

It is feasible...

I have never smoked a cigarette or used any other nicotine product even though the better half was a smoker... But I can't really say if it would have happened in the long term (i.e. kids and stuff) but the time we spent together it didn't change.

 

[Red Wazp]

I smoked for the first ten years of my marriage but quit ten years ago. I was a polite smoker as I always smoked out doors & never in the car. Lots of breath mints and teeth brushing helped so it wasn't a real big deal.
Now if the smoker lites up in doors that could be another matter. All relationships take a measured amount of effort on both sides so I suspect it's something that will have to be delt with on both sides.

 

[Hoshiko]

If the non smoker respects the smoker, not giving a hard time every time the other lights a cigarette and vice versa, the smoker does it outdoors, washes hands, mints/gum...... It could work.

 

[macem29]

I was the non in one of those relationships for over 20 years...
other than just the bothersome smoke, there's other things to
consider: smoking wastes time, a lot of of it, tobacco junkies
don't like long flights, some can't sit through a movie, have to
stop constantly on road trips, are always needing more cigs,
need smoke breaks when renovating or gardening etc.

If I were an employer I would not hire any smokers, and it's frustrating
to be in a relationship with one too...but I do have a fairly negative
attitude about the subject

 

[CHEMIKER]

When I smoked almost all of the relationships I had were the mixed kind, so from my experience it can work. You're exactly right though - it's really up to the non-smoker to be tolerant or not. I never complained that my girlfriends had fresh breath and clean smelling clothes LOL.

 

[marke14]

Interesting topic! Even for The Bar!

All things are possible. Many things are unlikely.

I'd say it's so individual, for both of you, that it's impossible for us to weigh in.

I smoked when I met my nonsmoking (tobacco that is! ) wife but I quit years ago. We are still together, happily.

My mom and dad didn't work out but surely mom's smoking was the least of that bad mix!

 

[Botch]

My folks lived that way their entires lives, so it can work.

However, in my own case, I won't even consider dating a smoker so how does this type of relationship start in the first place?

 

[CHEMIKER]

how does this type of relationship start in the first place?

In my case a careful mixture of drugs and alcohol.

 

[The Toecutter]

Can/does this kind of relationship work? :noworries:One smokes and the other doesn't. Anybody out there in this kind of relationship? :hug:The burden/sacrifice is 100% on the ex or non-smoker, right? I'm wondering if such a relationship is viable. Can the character outweigh the habit? Is this an accurate scenario: either both end up smokers (most likely) or both become non-smokers.

I will say this .... If there is a someone has to change issue in your relationship it's not gonna work.... No one wants to be a fixer upper,nor does anyone enjoy trying to change someone. if you can't accept each other the way you are you need to move on.. :thumbup: :rockon:

 

[Grouse]

Yes it can work. I smoke my wife dosn't. we have been together for 24 years got two kids and are very happy (most of the time). In the beging she said I will not live with you while you smoke, then it was I will not marry you. Now it's "Why the hell heve you used the bath towels to dry your bike".
I must add I will not smoke in the house or car. Love is blind but after a few years it loses it's sense of smell as well. If you are right for each other it WILL work no matter what. Just don't get oil on the carpet.

 

[Lowe]

Can/does this kind of relationship work? :noworries:One smokes and the other doesn't. Anybody out there in this kind of relationship? :hug:The burden/sacrifice is 100% on the ex or non-smoker, right? I'm wondering if such a relationship is viable. Can the character outweigh the habit? Is this an accurate scenario: either both end up smokers (most likely) or both become non-smokers.

I think alot depends on the character & how respectful the smoker is. My GF smokes ...never does it around my family & friends, brushes her teeth over 6 times a day, and claims she'll quit when we're ready to start a family. If I was with someone who smoked in my car, had disgusting teeth, and didn't have a care in the world for others space ...I would personally not put up with it for an extended period.

Side Note: Just a heads up, I actually started smoking because of her. She was pissed when I bought my first pack on my own, lol. So ...beware in that aspect. :thumbup:

 

[MHS]

My parents made it work.

After smoking for 30 some-odd years my dad quit a few years ago, but was married for most of the time he was smoking (and still is married).

I had the attitude that I'd never be interested in a smoker, but I met someone a while back and I managed to look through the smoking without issues. Didn't work out, but that had nothing to do with the smoking.

 

[Kazza]

Mike was a smoker when I first met him. THANK GOD he gave it up, probably about 16 years ago now. I never liked it, but I never forced him into giving up. When you're ready to give up, you will.

If I was single now, and looking for someone, a BIG NO if they were a smoker. Even George Clooney wouldn't get a look in

 

[4drfocus]

It can work, my dads parents are 50/50, the've been married 49 years, my moms father was a "cigar" smoker until he died, my boss and his wife are working on 26 years, my cousin is getting married in June, he smokes, she does'nt, my friend is quitting, he keeps it outside, he does'nt want his baby raised around tabacco.

 

[08fz6]

Haven't had to deal with it but my dad and my step mother got together when I was 2. I don't remember but was told my step mom was a smoker. Dad isn't. She quit very shortly after they got together and has never touched them since. I would say it all depends on the will power of each to make it work

 

[Tailgate]

Side Note: Just a heads up, I actually started smoking because of her. She was pissed when I bought my first pack on my own, lol. So ...beware in that aspect. :thumbup:

Yeah, this would be one of my biggest concerns----I used to smoke for many years, quit about 23 years ago.

 

[Tailgate]

I will say this .... If there is a someone has to change issue in your relationship it's not gonna work.... No one wants to be a fixer upper,nor does anyone enjoy trying to change someone. if you can't accept each other the way you are you need to move on.. :thumbup: :rockon:

I agree, it's unrealistic to expect change---it "might" happen but probably not because one expected it.