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Thought I'd share a funny story or two

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Kriswithak

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Before I force myself to go back to work I thought I'd share these two funny incidents (well I thought so) with the rest of you!

I headed to the GF's last night and had to get petrol on the way, pulled in to a service station, got my petrol and went in and grabbed some maccas after parking. When I went to leave I turned on the bike, geared up, rolled the bike back (being careful) and suddenly I hear all these alarms going, and I'm thinking WTF!
So I look in my review mirror, all clear haven't hit anything, not close to anyone, and then realise my new louder exhaust has set off the big utes alarms from about half a metre away! Proud moment. :steve:

Anyway got to the GF's and had to hit the kill switch as I turned into the driveway so as not to wake up the nephew since I got there pretty late and his room is right next to the garage. The next morning as I leave he as usual demands to sit on the bike, and as usual I let him sit on it while I gear up!
Anyway I got him down, and thought to myself, hmmm he hasn't heard the new exhaust :sinister: started up the bike, and he moved the fastest I've ever seen back into the house! The GF and I had a pretty good chuckle!

Anyway anyone else got some funny stories?
 
Kriswithak said:
So I look in my review mirror, all clear haven't hit anything, not close to anyone, and then realise my new louder exhaust has set off the big utes alarms from about half a metre away! Proud moment. :steve:
Click to expand...

I dont have any funny stories, but I would like to know what cans you have?!
 
Her brother and his wife both live with her parents, and she stays there occasionally, like the other day when they needed someone on babysitting duty.
She's my fiancee so I just call him my nephew
 
dean owens said:
serious question... is tasmania (assuming it's a region) a "country"/"back-woodsie" sort of a place? does it have a rep like some of our "redneck" areas in the u.s.?
Click to expand...

Its an island state. tasmania map - Google Maps


Mainlanders reckon we all have two heads and are inbred.

We even got left off the map when Brisbane had the c/wealth games !
 
A couple in Tasmania were getting married.
The big day came and the bride to be is walking down the isle dressed in a beautiful white dress.

The father of the groom breaks the mood and denies her getting to the alter stating that if she isn't good enough for her own family she is isn't good enough for his.
 
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...

My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And then the fight started....

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up my fishing boat up to my 4x4 and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...

I bumped into a car this morning.
So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't
believe it.... He was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"
So, I looked down at him and said, "Well then, which one are you?"
And then the fight started.....

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a set of scales.
And then the fight started...

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...
so, I took her to a petrol station.
And then the fight started...

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter
asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your trousers. You might have gotten disability, too.'
And then the fight started...

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about mad cow?""
Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's perfect.'
And then the fight started....

:D
 
JayJay said:
A couple in Tasmania were getting married.
The big day came and the bride to be is walking down the isle dressed in a beautiful white dress.

The father of the groom breaks the mood and denies her getting to the alter stating that if she isn't good enough for her own family she is isn't good enough for his.
Click to expand...

Like I haven't heard that one before :rolleyes:
 
Three guys - a Tasmanian, a Queenslander and a Victorian - are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it.

"I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes total", says the genie.

The Tasmanian says, "I am a fisherman, my dad's a fisherman, his dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity."

With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' the oceans were teaming with fish.

The Queenslander was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Queensland, so that we can run our own State how we feel, and no hippie southerner can tell us what to do. I want it so nothing and no-one will get in for all eternity."

Again, with a blink of the genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Queensland.

The Victorian asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."

The genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out."

The Victorian says, "Fill it up with water."
 
A mother and her young son were flying Qantas from Sydney to Perth.
The little boy (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked,

"If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the flight attendant.

So the boy went down the aisle and asked the flight attendant,

"If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The busy flight attendant smiled and said, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?"
The boy said, "Yes, she did."
"Well, then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Qantas always pulls out on time.

"Have your mother explain that to you."
 
Ozfazer6 said:
Its an island state. tasmania map - Google Maps


Mainlanders reckon we all have two heads and are inbred.

We even got left off the map when Brisbane had the c/wealth games !
Click to expand...

You and i both get it Mick , us Ipswichians get treated the same way by QLDers , yes i know i live in 2 head city :thumbup:
 
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