Skinned knees build character.
[ame="http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-News-Fark-Media/dp/1592402917/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-6744941-1091334?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1181055992&sr=8-1"]
Farkitrol®[/ame] for Dangerous Playgrounditis (DP)
What could possibly be more dangerous for your child than a plot of land filled with descending slopes, moving parts, pipes and bars? How about not letting them have any fun with it? Every single year, the Mainstream Media reports on exactly how unsafe it is for a kid to go out and play on the grounds that have been designated "playgrounds". [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-News-Fark-Media/dp/1592402917/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-6744941-1091334?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1181055992&sr=8-1"]
Farkitrol®[/ame] works by helping the patient realize that they were once kids themselves, and that falling down and scraping an elbow or slamming their shins against the ladder for the monkeybars didn't kill them. It just made them learn how not do that the next time.
Clinical studies have shown that subjects treated with [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-News-Fark-Media/dp/1592402917/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-6744941-1091334?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1181055992&sr=8-1"]
Farkitrol®[/ame] have stopped allowing society to dictate what's acceptible for their children. It's your child, dammit. Short of stuffing it full of Ny-Quil to make it sleep or beating it with a belt buckle, no one should care how you raise it. Just do your best and try to raise it how you feel is right. Honestly, if you can keep the little bastards from talking in the theater during a movie, most of society will deem you a successful parent.
This Web site is intended to help you understand how using [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-News-Fark-Media/dp/1592402917/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-6744941-1091334?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1181055992&sr=8-1"]
Farkitrol®[/ame] can help you realize it's a baby, not a Fabergie egg. It won't shatter if you swing it around a bit and let it have some fun. But only you can make that determination.
Copyright © 2007 UFIA Industrial Pharma. All rights reserved. This site is intended for use by United States residents only. For more information about media hysteria and other forms of oversensationalistic information consumption, contact your doctor or other healthcare professional. Or, maybe read a book, like [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-News-Fark-Media/dp/1592402917/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-6744941-1091334?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1181055992&sr=8-1"]
this one[/ame].Farkitrol® is a registered trademark of UFIA Industrial Pharma. GC 8008135
About Farkitrol®
[ame="http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-News-Fark-Media/dp/1592402917/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-6744941-1091334?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1181055992&sr=8-1"]
Farkitrol®[/ame] was created as a treatment for Media Dischordia combined with Media Sterilitus - a deadly combination of scattered and boring facts which atrophys the brain and causes dependency on sub-standard channels for information nutrition.
When combined with common sense and basic human awareness, [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-News-Fark-Media/dp/1592402917/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-6744941-1091334?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1181055992&sr=8-1"]
Farkitrol®[/ame] can greatly decrease the reliance on the only three sources available in the Mainstream Media for predigested, highly editorialized, commercial "news" and allows for a broader understanding of why certain information seems to show up again and again in the Mainstream Media. [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-News-Fark-Media/dp/1592402917/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-6744941-1091334?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1181055992&sr=8-1"]
Farkitrol®[/ame] may be habit forming. Ask your doctor or the guys in your company's IT department about the potential side effects of [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-News-Fark-Media/dp/1592402917/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-6744941-1091334?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1181055992&sr=8-1"]
Farkitrol®[/ame], such as snarkiness, immediate detection of bull****, and the inability to see the "news" reported on mainstream news networks as anything other than what it is - commercially viable infotainment broadcast exclusively for the purpose of keeping your attention long enough to advertise products at you.
There have been rare reports of serious kidney or bladder discomfort with [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-News-Fark-Media/dp/1592402917/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-6744941-1091334?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1181055992&sr=8-1"]
Farkitrol®[/ame] treatment, usually caused by a combination of not being able to stop taking [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-News-Fark-Media/dp/1592402917/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-6744941-1091334?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1181055992&sr=8-1"]
Farkitrol®[/ame] with explosive boughts of laughter and / or anger. If you think you are pregnant, are planning to be pregnant (yeah right, you'll never get him to fall for that one) or are nursing, please tell your immediate family, as they may pitch in for some presents and free Huggies for your spawn. [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-News-Fark-Media/dp/1592402917/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-6744941-1091334?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1181055992&sr=8-1"]
Farkitrol®[/ame] may harm your children, causing them to see the world as it really is.
Do combine [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-News-Fark-Media/dp/1592402917/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-6744941-1091334?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1181055992&sr=8-1"]
Farkitrol®[/ame] with liberal doses of alchohol (as the creators intended you to do). There is a risk of side effects associated with [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-News-Fark-Media/dp/1592402917/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-6744941-1091334?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1181055992&sr=8-1"]
Farkitrol®[/ame] therapy. The most common side effects are low blood cell counts (red blood cells, white blood cells, and platelets); hair loss; tiredness; stomach upset, including nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea; rash; shortness of breath; muscle aches; and numbness or tingling in your toes or fingers, loose stool, ulcers, itchy or numb buttocks, a mild cramping of the left calf muscle, . These are not all of the side effects of [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-News-Fark-Media/dp/1592402917/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-6744941-1091334?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1181055992&sr=8-1"]
Farkitrol®[/ame]. Actually, we're just ****ing with you, these aren't side effects of [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-News-Fark-Media/dp/1592402917/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-6744941-1091334?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1181055992&sr=8-1"]
Farkitrol®[/ame] at all - they're just fun to type. If you have any side effect that bothers you or that doesn't go away, please don't email us, because we just don't care. Besides, you'll get over it.
For more information about [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-News-Fark-Media/dp/1592402917/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-6744941-1091334?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1181055992&sr=8-1"]Farkitrol®[/ame], call 1-800-UFIA-FAQ. We have no idea who will answer (if anyone). We also don't know what they'll say. This isn't our phone number. But be sure to call it and tell them about [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-News-Fark-Media/dp/1592402917/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-6744941-1091334?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1181055992&sr=8-1"]
Farkitrol®[/ame] anyway.