Wow!

davidsa1

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So i'm looking for a picture online and I find this article, I had to share.


Innocent Kids Use Jar Jar Dolls As Masturbation Toys!

Life Sized Satanic Doll Serves As Masturbation Toy For America's Youth
Action Alert!


When Mrs. Tawny Huxton opened her son Timmy's bedroom door, she was shocked to see his innocent white hiney nestled into the new 7ft Jar Jar Binks doll she had bought him for his birthday. Lately, many Americans have suffered similar incidents. Young children are being seduced by the character of George Lucas' latest Star Wars Movie. Jar Jar's soothing voice, and timid childlike manners, seem to lure young teens into a world of lustful abandon. Unsuspecting parents purchase the popular life-size doll, only to find out later that it is being used by the child as a masturbation toy.

Under the guise of family entertainment, Lucas' "Star Wars" prequel has contaminated America's youth with subliminal sexual innuendo. Pastor Ebeneezer Smith of the Landover Baptist Church commented, "The demonic characteristics of the Jar Jar binks creature become obvious when one pays close attention. His forked tongue, his lapping, his malignant features, are all too noticeable to the Christ centered man." Experts who have examined the life-sized doll that has become the favorite 'toy' of 12-14 year old children, say that the evidence is overwhelming. The doll was created for the sole purpose of masturbation. It has four openings, and three extrusions, making it compatible for male or female pleasure.

Members of The Landover Baptist Church are outraged at the Satanic subtlety in which marketing geniuses have moved this horrific abomination into the homes of America's youth. "One Mother was concerned that her young daughter was not interested in boys," a Pastor noted, "she asked her little girl, 'why don't you talk about the cute boys at school?' Her daughter replied, 'oh momma, nobody I know is cuter than Jar Jar Binks.' The mother was horrified."

Landover Baptist Church finds that the only way to resolve this problem is to ban not only life sized Jar Jar Binks dolls from American homes, but to ban any life sized doll. "Any child that has seen this movie is finding that their natural attraction to members of the opposite sex is being replaced with an attraction to a 7ft devil with elephant feet, a 25 inch tongue, polka dot skin, a fish snout, and two phallic eyes that jut out like hard erotic pokers. For the Love of God! If you've got this devil in your house, remove it as soon as possible!
 

aaronrosencrans

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Wow, that's nuts. The thing that gets me even more than kids using the doll in such a way is how the church is suggesting we ban life-sized dolls like that. Someone has a problem with something and the answer is always take it off the shelves. GRRR. What's up with this world? What happened to freedom and a free market?? If you don't like something, don't buy it.
 

Oscar54

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Why is it that the BAC's are the only ones who discover these dastardly conspiracies to subvert their youth?:eek:
 
S

SidewallPuncture

religion, the root of all evil. Ban the churches and the world will suddenly become a great place.

Personally, if the kids aren't boinking Jar Jar, they'll be boinking something else.
I never had Jar Jar at my disposal, but I found enough other things to go "golly gee, thats was neat!":cheer:
 
S

SidewallPuncture

My curiosity is peaked though David....what exactly were you searching to come up with and article on "Jar Jar" and "masturbation"?

freak:ban:
 
W

wrightme43

Religion is not intrinsicly bad or wrong. Idiots are idiots and some of them are religous.

On the Jar Jar thing, kids do that.
 

madmanmaigret

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It's only a joke. Look at the rest of the web site......."accept jesus and win a playstation 2" LOL picture of jesus on thong underwear? LOL go to godly sex...... a picture of a guy and a sheep:jawdrop::rof::spank:
 

clockworkjon

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F-ing a Jar Jar doll is disturbing no matter how you look at it. On the other hand, if they had a life-size Princess Leia doll that would go a long way to satisfying some of my earliest childhood fantasies! :thumbup:
 
S

SidewallPuncture

she just turned 16....but that still doesn't make it any better:spank:
 

Botch

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It's only a joke. Look at the rest of the web site.......\"accept jesus and win a playstation 2\" LOL picture of jesus on thong underwear? LOL go to godly sex...... a picture of a guy and a sheep:jawdrop::rof::spank:
Ever notice it IS getting harder and harder to distinguish between satire and reality?
 
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