Wedding or Honeymoon?

[granda080]

So my fiance and I are trying to decide if we would rather have a wedding and reception or going on a honeymoon. She, Brooke, really wants to go to Hawaii, but we can't afford to do both. We have been talking to our families and they said do whatever and we are having a difficult time deciding. So here are the scenarios:

1. Have a nice wedding and reception and possibly go to North Carolina for a honeymoon.

2. Get married via Justice of the Peace then go to Hawaii for a week.

What would you do?

 

[MRGM]

I'm almost in the same mess, only we're trying to decide between a small wedding, and going down to the courthouse...

Do what YOU BOTH want, forget everyone else. You don't have to live in the same house with them.

 

[chicagogreg]

Go to Hawaii but wait until it gets nice out there

 

[granda080]

I'm not worried about what people think, it's more along the line that I don't care and she needs to make the decision. The economy blows so much, it seems crazy to have a wedding. Plus people don't have money to waste on gifts and that stuff.
Let me know what you all decide to do! Congrats by the way!

 

[granda080]

Oh yeah, our wedding date is set for June 20, which would be the time that we would go to Hawaii if we didn't have the wedding. We are lucky we haven't been in any contracts for places or people.

 

[darkrider]

You can have family and friends at the Justice of peace to celebrate your wedding and do a great dinner somewhere.

Hawaii is my choice.

 

[reiobard]

just my thoughts, but Hawaii probably isn't going anywhere, but you will hopefully only get married once. if you can't decide that means that one or both of you actually has some sentiment towards the wedding ceremony. Do that the right way and then save up again for Hawaii.

 

[sfcali86]

hawaii man enjoy a vacation since your fam doesnt mind unlike me i had no choice i would have prefered a trip somewhere

 

[Ghost Weim]

I say do what you both really want to do - and make sure you do it without regrets. If you guys are into lots of friends and big parties, then do that. If not, do Hawaii. You only live once.

I have been married twice - first was a big fat white wedding and afterwards thought - gosh, we could have pocketed some nice cash and just eloped. Second time was very (and I mean very) small - which was...perfect.

 

[lytehouse]

well....hopefully this will be your only wedding! I vote for a wedding now, and Hawaii, later!

 

[YamahaMAXdRPMs]

i was in the same boat... we ended up doing a "smaller" wedding and a cruise rather than a big wedding or a big honeymoon. I say small... together the wedding and cruise were still $20g, but it only happens once (atleast that is how you should go in thinking)

looking back im so glad we sucked it up a little and went with a nice wedding... the memories are amazing

 

[cv_rider]

The element of having family and friends witnessing the wedding and have a great time at the reception is pretty significant. The honeymoon is just sort of a vacation. I'd spend the $ on the wedding to defer the honeymoon (the vacation part of it, anyway). There will be other times where financially it makes sense to go to Hawaii and you can enjoy it without worrying about money. I know lots of people who have had deferred honeymoons, if for money, work or family obligations, whatever.

 

[OZXJR]

We spent all our money on a nice wedding and reception then we went to Hawaii for 2 weeks,when we got back my wife had a retrenchment notice in the post

Moral of the story is keep some money in the bank .

 

[lytehouse]

or you could have the wedding......ask for cash as your gifts, and use that to go to Hawaii on! Have your cake & eat it too! :cheer:

 

[rdoucet]

Have the wedding and save up for Hawaii. When the vacation is over you don't want your wife regretting not having the wedding and reception with all her family and friends (yours also). My wife and I have been married 11 years this June 20th and people we know still talk about the wedding reception.

This is just my opinion but do what makes you both happy!!!!!

Either way, congratulations and wish you two the best.

 

[Steph]

just my thoughts, but Hawaii probably isn't going anywhere, but you will hopefully only get married once. if you can't decide that means that one or both of you actually has some sentiment towards the wedding ceremony. Do that the right way and then save up again for Hawaii.

I never thought of it that way but now that I read it, I am going to second that. Makes a great deal of sense to me

 

[forwil]

My wife and I (and our parents for that matter) talk about our wedding and how much fun we had. I remember where we stayed on the honeymoon but other than that we didn’t do much else….

Wedding

 

[HowlFZ6]

or you could have the wedding......ask for cash as your gifts, and use that to go to Hawaii on! Have your cake & eat it too! :cheer:

This is a great suggestion. To take it one step further, my wife and I worked with a travel agent who set up our gift registry to help pay for our honeymoon in Italy. Guests could purchase big items like "Hotel stay in Rome", "XX miles of Airfare" or smaller items like "Cab Fare" or "Tour of the Vatican". It worked out great. In the end, the travel agent can direct the funds to the travel plans you arranged, or cut you a check for spending cash when you get there. :thumbup:

 

[keira]

just my thoughts, but Hawaii probably isn't going anywhere, but you will hopefully only get married once. if you can't decide that means that one or both of you actually has some sentiment towards the wedding ceremony. Do that the right way and then save up again for Hawaii.

I know it's tacky to quote my own husband, but he stole my thoughts and wrote them before I could....


For me, having the big ceremony was something I always wanted (though I never pictured it like most girls do, it was still perfect), and we were fortunate to have family help pay for the whole shebang. Otherwise we probably would not have had a nice honeymoon, because the ceremony/reception wasn't something I wanted to skimp on.


Rob's brother got married last minute on New Year's Eve and they had a full ceremony at their house. I was the photographer, Rob was the videographer, and Sam's Club provided the cake. Family was there, JP married them in front of the fireplace, and we all had a good time. The ceremony is what you make it, and you can have people there, too. Make it a pot luck

 

[Steve F]

Tough choice! On one hand I agree with those who say you only get married once (hopefully). But on the other hand I've always felt my two BIG weddings were an over extravagent waste of money.

Any chance of finding some middle ground? Perhaps a small formal type wedding and then off to somewhere cheaper than Hawaii, like Bermuda or Bahamas?

A small but well planned wedding can be done elegantly but still generate enough gifts to almost break even with $$. I know it's hard to think that way about counting on gift cash. But with the costs of a wedding being what it is, it's impossible not to. Then if you beak even or almost break even you can go somewhere like Bermuda (one of my favorite places in the whole world) or somewhere else in the Caribbean. The trick is to keep it in budget which isn't easy. Women like to get out of control with the ribbons and bows and all the other crap.

Hey, if you do go to Hawaii, rent a Harley. I did on my honeymoon there. The wife and I cruised all around Maui on a Sportster. It's one of my fondest memories.

Best of luck to you.