rickgu
Junior Member
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- Thread starter FinalImpact
- Start date
Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk
Cool clock: Ham Yard Hotel on Vimeo
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- Alkmaar Netherlands
Well being Yorkshire bred, I loved this version of the scottish independance
One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon.
He thought to himself, “It’s certainly not a ship”
As the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out even the possibilities of a small boat or a raft.
Suddenly there strode from the surf a figure clad in a black wet suit. Putting aside the scuba tanks and mask and zipping down the top of the wet suit stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!
She walked up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, “Tell me, how long has it been since you’ve had a good cigar?”
“Ten years,” replied the amazed Irishman.
With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wet suit and pulled out a fresh package of cigars and a lighter.
He took a cigar, slowly lit it, and took a long drag. “Sweet Jumpin' Jesus,” said the castaway, “that is so good! I’d almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!”
“And how long has it been since you’ve had a drop of good Jameson's Irish Whiskey?” asked the blonde.
Trembling, the castaway replied, “Ten years.”
Hearing that, the blonde reached over to her right sleeve, unzipped a pocket there and removed a flask and handed it to him.
He opened the flask and took a long drink.. ” ‘Tis nectar of the gods!” shouted the Irishman. ” ‘Tis truly fantastic!!!”
At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, “And how long has it been since you played around?”
With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, “Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Don’t tell me that you’ve got golf clubs in there too!”
He thought to himself, “It’s certainly not a ship”
As the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out even the possibilities of a small boat or a raft.
Suddenly there strode from the surf a figure clad in a black wet suit. Putting aside the scuba tanks and mask and zipping down the top of the wet suit stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!
She walked up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, “Tell me, how long has it been since you’ve had a good cigar?”
“Ten years,” replied the amazed Irishman.
With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wet suit and pulled out a fresh package of cigars and a lighter.
He took a cigar, slowly lit it, and took a long drag. “Sweet Jumpin' Jesus,” said the castaway, “that is so good! I’d almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!”
“And how long has it been since you’ve had a drop of good Jameson's Irish Whiskey?” asked the blonde.
Trembling, the castaway replied, “Ten years.”
Hearing that, the blonde reached over to her right sleeve, unzipped a pocket there and removed a flask and handed it to him.
He opened the flask and took a long drink.. ” ‘Tis nectar of the gods!” shouted the Irishman. ” ‘Tis truly fantastic!!!”
At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, “And how long has it been since you played around?”
With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, “Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Don’t tell me that you’ve got golf clubs in there too!”
sniff6
Be nice i am
That'll teach him lol
Good as any place - over 150 pictures of people caught in some form of accident (you may scratch your head at a few of them), mostly cars and trucks. No one seriously injured...
Can your state do better? haha! >> Slideshow Landing Page - KPTV - FOX 12
Can your state do better? haha! >> Slideshow Landing Page - KPTV - FOX 12
Froggy running an irrigation device.... :thumbup:
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbOdD5latVw"]Frog On A Sprinkler - YouTube[/ame]
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbOdD5latVw"]Frog On A Sprinkler - YouTube[/ame]
Sometimes reality is the funniest..
Idaho teen lights driver's armpit hair on fire, vehicle rolls
By KBOI Web StaffPublished: Sep 17, 2014 at 9:43 PM PDT Last Updated: Sep 18, 2014 at 6:52 AM PDT by Ada Sheriff
BOISE, Idaho (KBOI) -- Several teenagers had to go to the hospital after a prank with a lighter went horribly wrong over the weekend.
The Ada County Sheriff's Office says an 18-year-old was driving a Ford Bronco on Columbia Road early Sunday morning when a 16-year-old front passenger lit the driver's armpit hair on fire with a lighter. The vehicle ended up rolling -- tossing two teen girls from the vehicle.
Paramedics had to take three of the teens to the hospital after the crash for non life-threatening injuries.
The driver originally told deputies that he swerved to avoid hitting an animal, but detectives quickly learned that the teens in the front of the car were goofing off just prior to the crash.
The Ada County Sheriff's Office cited Tristian Myers with inattentive driving. The teen who allegedly lit the boy's armpit hair on fire was also cited for interfering with the driver's safe operation of a vehicle.
Idaho teen lights driver's armpit hair on fire, vehicle rolls
By KBOI Web StaffPublished: Sep 17, 2014 at 9:43 PM PDT Last Updated: Sep 18, 2014 at 6:52 AM PDT by Ada Sheriff
BOISE, Idaho (KBOI) -- Several teenagers had to go to the hospital after a prank with a lighter went horribly wrong over the weekend.
The Ada County Sheriff's Office says an 18-year-old was driving a Ford Bronco on Columbia Road early Sunday morning when a 16-year-old front passenger lit the driver's armpit hair on fire with a lighter. The vehicle ended up rolling -- tossing two teen girls from the vehicle.
Paramedics had to take three of the teens to the hospital after the crash for non life-threatening injuries.
The driver originally told deputies that he swerved to avoid hitting an animal, but detectives quickly learned that the teens in the front of the car were goofing off just prior to the crash.
The Ada County Sheriff's Office cited Tristian Myers with inattentive driving. The teen who allegedly lit the boy's armpit hair on fire was also cited for interfering with the driver's safe operation of a vehicle.
sniff6
Be nice i am
Can anyone help this poor little lamb out??
Hey guys, please help with my mods gone wrong…,, (Do it yourself Port and Polish on Audi) | Epic Internet
(i read this story on the Audi forum a couple of years ago. But still makes me laugh)
Hey guys, please help with my mods gone wrong…,, (Do it yourself Port and Polish on Audi) | Epic Internet
(i read this story on the Audi forum a couple of years ago. But still makes me laugh)
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.....
(SEE BELOW)
HOW MANY 'F's?
Count them again.
WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke..
READ IT AGAIN !
Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 'F's before you scroll down.
The reasoning behind this is further down.
The brain cannot process "OF" as its reads it as "ov".
F INISHED F ILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
F IC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.....
Incredible or what?
Three is normal, four is quite rare. Anyone who counts all 6 'F's on the first go is a genius.
(( PS - PURGING old crap from PC and found this ))
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.....
(SEE BELOW)
HOW MANY 'F's?
Count them again.
WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke..
READ IT AGAIN !
Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 'F's before you scroll down.
The reasoning behind this is further down.
The brain cannot process "OF" as its reads it as "ov".
F INISHED F ILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
F IC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.....
Incredible or what?
Three is normal, four is quite rare. Anyone who counts all 6 'F's on the first go is a genius.
(( PS - PURGING old crap from PC and found this ))
I shouldn't have laughed.
But I did...
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1OHoHx2uMs"]Ewps!!![/ame]
But I did...
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1OHoHx2uMs"]Ewps!!![/ame]
Solarservant
Thrill-Seeker
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGWiZLy0YuI"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGWiZLy0YuI[/ame]
This has gotten all kinds of bad comments citing "abuse." Watch until the end and tell me that dog isn't psyched about that ride.
This has gotten all kinds of bad comments citing "abuse." Watch until the end and tell me that dog isn't psyched about that ride.
sniff6
Be nice i am
sniff6
Be nice i am
In a diner, the husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'
'Yes,' she says, 'I remember it well.'
OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'
'Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them,' Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,
'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.'
'Yes,' she says, 'I remember it well.'
OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'
'Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them,' Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,
'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.'
rickgu
Junior Member
Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk
- Joined
- Oct 5, 2007
- Messages
- 4,886
- Reaction score
- 113
- Points
- 63
- Location
- Alkmaar Netherlands
