Jealous Sig others?

jdesiano1

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I have a question. Any of you ride with a bunch of guys and some have girlfriend/wife that is jealous and thinks you are just there to be "after" their man? That is not why I am there (unless he is really hott! LOL J/K) I mean don't hate cuz I enjoy the same things he does and am good at it. Relax. We could get along if you dropped the attitude!:cheer:
 

buccs40oz

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some wife's are like that. sorry if it happens to you. it may not help though if you are better then the guys you ride with. then they go home and say wow she did this today and she did this. if the guys do that it may not help. then that just shows how insecure the wife is. i ride with a female alot (she is very good looking) but my wife if fine with it. just don't let it get you down if they do say stuff. and remember if they say it to your face slap the **** out of her.
 

LERecords

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I mean don't hate cuz I enjoy the same things he does and am good at it.

i agree with the first part up to the and..

it might be that the significant other either:
a. doesnt like ridding (scared)
b. has no interest
c. never has been asked and therefore doesnt go

and therefore they are not "good at it"... maybe try throwing it out there and invite them.. you might find they have just been neglected by their sig-other and really are interested, but the other doesnt take the time to introduce them into the sport.. maybe they just need to be shown that a girl can ride and move on from there.. or just tell them to stop playing the highschool jealous game ;)

or you could be like mine and not care... she enjoys laying out and getting tan while im out on the bike.. granted i dont ride with anyone usually so its not like she can get jealous
 

darkrider

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(unless he is really hott! LOL J/K)

Remember, this goes both ways...you would have to be semi-hot for me to even pay attention to you and not my sexy FZ6!...lol.
 

keira

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I have a question. Any of you ride with a bunch of guys and some have girlfriend/wife that is jealous and thinks you are just there to be "after" their man? That is not why I am there (unless he is really hott! LOL J/K) I mean don't hate cuz I enjoy the same things he does and am good at it. Relax. We could get along if you dropped the attitude!:cheer:

Haha, sorry my reply is not going to help, but I remember on one of my first big group rides, there were four of us ladies who were pretty new and decided we would break off and run the route at a slower pace. Rob came with us to ride sweep, and at every stop (seriously, EVERY stop), the girl leading the ride went straight to him and basically hung off him, standing too close, touching him while talking way more than you should with someone you just met, and that sort of thing. He didn't even notice (or at least said he didn't), but the other girls in the group were like, "Dude, really, his fiancee (at the time, now wife) is RIGHT THERE!" It helps that guys can be clueless :) But, had she acknowledged the rest of our existence even half as much as his, it might have been seen less as flirting and more as connecting with a more experienced rider.

Anyway, I don't think I have ever run into this problem, but then again, I ride with my husband 90% of the time, so maybe they just don't perceive me as a threat....especially because on non-riding activities (winter get-togethers, post-ride BBQs, etc.), I find myself hanging with the girls more often than the guys. As long as they have something worthwhile to talk about that is....

If I were to give any advice on how to handle the situation, it is tough love, but first and foremost take an honest look at your own behavior. Are you doing things that would imply to a woman that you are trying to "get her man"? Are you acknowledging the girlfriend/wife's existence and trying to get to know her, too? Or are you only talking tot he guys because they can talk bikes? I'm not saying you are doing anything intentionally, but sometimes we get wrapped up in the whole motorcycling thing and don't think about the other people that are involved - the significant others, children, heck even pets, that are affected by this person's longing for the open road. I always try to learn my riding buddies' pets' names, and try even harder to remember the names of their sig. others. I also try to strike up a conversation that can get everyone involved, so that people do not feel "left out." Honestly, this may be what you are perceiving as jealousy....you are a potential buddy to the wife or girlfriend, and she may feel alienated by your "inability" to talk about anything other than bikes, which she probably has no interest in, and feels that she can't make a connection with you.

Again, I'm not saying any of this is actually happening, but just some thigns to be aware of. It it truly is jealousy (and sometimes it can be, I guess), then there really isn't anything you can do about it except keep being the riding buddy as long as you can stand it and hope the guys get it figured out for themselves.
 

jdesiano1

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Haha, sorry my reply is not going to help, but I remember on one of my first big group rides, there were four of us ladies who were pretty new and decided we would break off and run the route at a slower pace. Rob came with us to ride sweep, and at every stop (seriously, EVERY stop), the girl leading the ride went straight to him and basically hung off him, standing too close, touching him while talking way more than you should with someone you just met, and that sort of thing. He didn't even notice (or at least said he didn't), but the other girls in the group were like, "Dude, really, his fiancee (at the time, now wife) is RIGHT THERE!" It helps that guys can be clueless :) But, had she acknowledged the rest of our existence even half as much as his, it might have been seen less as flirting and more as connecting with a more experienced rider.

Anyway, I don't think I have ever run into this problem, but then again, I ride with my husband 90% of the time, so maybe they just don't perceive me as a threat....especially because on non-riding activities (winter get-togethers, post-ride BBQs, etc.), I find myself hanging with the girls more often than the guys. As long as they have something worthwhile to talk about that is....

If I were to give any advice on how to handle the situation, it is tough love, but first and foremost take an honest look at your own behavior. Are you doing things that would imply to a woman that you are trying to "get her man"? Are you acknowledging the girlfriend/wife's existence and trying to get to know her, too? Or are you only talking tot he guys because they can talk bikes? I'm not saying you are doing anything intentionally, but sometimes we get wrapped up in the whole motorcycling thing and don't think about the other people that are involved - the significant others, children, heck even pets, that are affected by this person's longing for the open road. I always try to learn my riding buddies' pets' names, and try even harder to remember the names of their sig. others. I also try to strike up a conversation that can get everyone involved, so that people do not feel "left out." Honestly, this may be what you are perceiving as jealousy....you are a potential buddy to the wife or girlfriend, and she may feel alienated by your "inability" to talk about anything other than bikes, which she probably has no interest in, and feels that she can't make a connection with you.

Again, I'm not saying any of this is actually happening, but just some thigns to be aware of. It it truly is jealousy (and sometimes it can be, I guess), then there really isn't anything you can do about it except keep being the riding buddy as long as you can stand it and hope the guys get it figured out for themselves.

Shouldn't have quoted a long post lol but i guess I shouldn't have posted this without anyone knowing me. If my husband is not with me I ride by myself. I am never in a group with guys unless he is there. I make it my purpose to invite chicks and try to befriend them because honestly I would love to say come on lets leave the guys behind and go on our own. Yes I am flirty but this is with everyone, both sexes (not that way) I am a VERY outgoing person. And maybe I should have added dont hate when you have every oppurtunity to do this as I do. I guess I was just ranting a lil not looking for a solution. No one's atitude will mess up my ride! (except for hubbys but he gets over it quick! LOL)
 

Have2BeFree

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I agree with Kiera.

From my point of view, I'm just a riding buddy. I don't flirt with guys who are taken; I've made it incredibly clear that I am NOT interested in a guy that is already taken (don't need the headache/heartache) and always try to be nice and strike up non-motorcycle conversation with the wife/gf of any other rider. That being said if she still wants to be jealous it's her problem, not mine. I also have made friends with more women riders to avoid this hassle.
 

necrotimus

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I am about to make some huge generalizations that probably have no bearing but you have been warned...

A lot of women who ride motorcycles are the same women who are more comfortable hanging out with guys then girls. They would rather talk shop then talk about clothes. When this type of women talks to a guy she often has a different "comfort zone" with the opposite sex. This "comfort zone" tends to be manifiested in a more relaxed and familiar manner than you would see in a traditional opposite sex interaction. This familiarity (which often may include touching) would normally be characterized as flirting however it is probably just friendly behavior.

If you were to walk up to a guy and say "Wow you really took that last sweeper at a good clip with your knee on the ground" you are just being friendly but others will see it as flirting because of the level of familiarity you have with the opposite sex and the shared hobby.
 

jdesiano1

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I am about to make some huge generalizations that probably have no bearing but you have been warned...

A lot of women who ride motorcycles are the same women who are more comfortable hanging out with guys then girls. They would rather talk shop then talk about clothes. When this type of women talks to a guy she often has a different "comfort zone" with the opposite sex. This "comfort zone" tends to be manifiested in a more relaxed and familiar manner than you would see in a traditional opposite sex interaction. This familiarity (which often may include touching) would normally be characterized as flirting however it is probably just friendly behavior.

If you were to walk up to a guy and say "Wow you really took that last sweeper at a good clip with your knee on the ground" you are just being friendly but others will see it as flirting because of the level of familiarity you have with the opposite sex and the shared hobby.

Exactly, I grew up a huge tomboy, played football four years (only girl in league) would rather fish than go to the mall and do not want to sit inside with the women talking about the kids and such. Sorry but it doesn't interest me therefore I tend to hang out with few women. I can get engaged in a very hot topic like the (nfl) draft or for instance the other night at bike night I am in a heated discussion (friendly) about the physics behind hanging off in a corner my hubby is just laughing. Finally I switch up and ask this guys gf if he has tried hanging off with her on the bike. She just says nope won't even look at me and we are all like WTF? oh well!
 

Nefilim

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Sometimes it's just her personality that's the problem.

For example, talking to my ex-girlfriend was pretty much a task. If it weren't for the fact that she was a swimsuit model, I would have probably never dated her. She had extremely limited interests and even when delving into them, she just grunted single-syllable responses to me. We were that couple who went out to dinner and would sit quietly and look at decorations on the restaurant wall; it was awful.

So whenever we were in a group situation, I would most likely be talking to people other than her because the conversations actually WENT somewhere instead of terminating at "That's cool." or "I guess." So of course, she became extremely jealous and suspicious of me for talking to other women more enthusiastically than with her.

So here's the litmus test:
Is your friend's girlfriend extremely pretty or at least much better looking than the guy?
Do they talk to one another much?
Does she boredly rest her chin on her palm at the table and look at her surroundings instead of engaging in group conversations?
Does she sigh and act like she doesn't want to be there?

If yes, then chances are he's only dating her for her looks and they don't have much going for them.
 
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